I have a deep secret to tell you all. And I'm not very comfortable about showing it you. As these days go by, I've been strangely getting depressed in ways I can't explain. My family/friends have been noticing rather behaviour from me lately, but then I just hide it behind a fake smiles and laughs. I've seeked help from doctors, friends, family but neither of them can't seem to pin point what the problem is or a cure for it.
I've been causing self harm to myself and my body. All these journals about my 'stabbing chest pain' and my 'broken knee' and these 'illnesses' is only me not coping with these depression and rage over taking my system.

I'm starting to turn Anorexia nervosa and getting rather frightened, comfortable about eating certain foods or even touching them.
Insomnia is another one, I'm lacking sleep which could turn fatal at any second due to my unhealthy body weight I have and struggling to gain back now.
My broken knee wasn't at all an accident, it was done on purpose, I forced myself to fall down the stairs loosing control over my depression.
I'm really easy to catch a flu well because I am unhealthy for now, and maybe forever.
And my chest pain hasn't been sorted.
I wanted to share this with you all, I do expect to loose watchers after this journal, because it's not at all nice. I've searched for help online and offline and there seems to be no symptoms or cure. I've given up hope for now, but soon I will back on my feet to my normal self.