ive noticed that everything is just getting so boring lately the artists are good and all

its just that its just pictures

boring still even if they are really good to look at its just something still and motionless

a lot of the artists i used to look into when i first found this site are now just gone or post art every month or so

things lately are just so slow and dead even on my Chatlists theres only like 4-5 people ever online each and out of those people i only even marginally want to talk to like 2 of them the rest of my 100 list is just offline or nonexistant or have utterly quit the fandom for other reasons

i miss the days when i could log in and thered be like 50-60 people online and i could chat with damn near all of them and haveFUN but nowadays its just so dead and stagnant

that isnt to say the people that i do talk to arent fun its just...i guess im growing bored of everything lately not even my wide menagerie of video games seem to sate me any more even some of the new stuff i got and thats why im sad i cant find any entertainment in life

even games that were some of my favorites to play are just meh lately

hell to be honest even masturbation is starting to lose its edge...yeah it feels good but when its over its done with

i want something exciting in my life to happen but its just been so boring lately so i actually spend most of my time sleeping or napping after finishing up various chores around my house and i dream...but even thats gotten boring no matter the type of dream...even my dreams have started becoming dull and colorless compared to what i used to dream about

call me lazy but i really dont honestly want to do much of anything anymore its THAT BAD

i just dont understand why i feel unfulfilled and unhappy

im considering on going out and buying a shitton of art pads books what have you and starting a doodle a day thing but that means i would have to DO something and i really dont want to

i honestly feel like my life of fun and entertainment is just drifting into something bland and melancholy so to those who i do talk with i apologize if i seem unenthused about anything that might come up

i really want to start getting an after highschool education... you know college but i just cant bring myself to it on concerns of money and what i should take to learn

and whats more i also need to go get a job for money reasons so i can buy things that i need/want

All my close by friends are so busy lately to my absolute best friends are in some kinds of classes somewhere at least i feel kind of isolated and alone lately in that sense

ive considered taking on some voice acting skits just to see how it plays out but i cant find anything in my area doing something like that

its even hard to really smile naturally anymore i have to force those sorts of things

thanks to all of you who read and listen
sorry to bother all who will read this and actually comment