I'm just tired of life at this point. Not in the 'want to end it all' way, just tired of the shit it keeps shoveling at me. Tired of dealing with this money pit of a junk car my dad got me, it keeps leaking, keeps fucking up and I'm totally tapped out financially to deal with this mother fucker. I don't know what to do nor do I really know why I'm writing this out here, it just sucks. I'm not looking for asspats or handouts, I'm just venting. I hate being poor, I hate having family who think I'm a joke. I wish SOMETHING would go right for me, is that too much to ask, universe? I feel my jovial nature slipping, I don't want to joke as much any more, I'm not finding much to smile about any more, I'm just being beaten down into this lifeless husk that just slogs through all the shit without comment or complaint.

I've been so lonely and starving for some kind of loving contact with anyone, I feel like a wilting flower.. I think if I had someone to lean on emotionally I'd be better, and I love all of my friends out there in internet land but I think you know what I mean, some one really there physically. But you know.. it's been however many years, and I feel like an old man, to quote a good friend of mine I feel like an ogre, not fit for anyone's real physical affection. This sounds really pathetic reading back over it but fuck it, i'm not really in this for popularity or anything, like I said before i'm just venting and depressed, drifting along without a purpose and this shitty car dragging me down into the cold fucking briny sea. To those who read this, i'm sorry you had to sift through my stream of consciousness, but you are a true friend at least. Thank you for letting me rant and yell.

TL;DR: FML

-Gabby