Does this mean we can expect more from you soon? :D

Not really, no, sorry.

*facepalms*

Sorry :p
I don't have time/inspiration to write a lot lately. Too busy and focused on other things in life.

...what is this life you speak of?

it involves working a lot, often for the sake of more work.

...ew

I read the first two chapters of Tish and Cass years ago and had been hoping to see another chapter. But you are the writer, and it's your decision. I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah I really don't know where I would go with it at this point. I had a vague idea before, but I don't think it works without re-writing it. I will probably work on something new before I work on that again.

Well I do hope you do pick it back up in the future. Good luck on the next project you decide to work on.

I quite liked the first two chapters, been checking back periodically in hopes of seeing more. Hearing it may not be finished, and the reasons why, I've only one very specific comment to make.

Do you know the characters fully yet? Depending on the characters, dialouge is strange. One of my characters speaks in a very archaic, ancient fashion because he's just... Well, old. So it becomes a question of knowing the characters, their mannerisms and speaking style, and thus from that developing dialouge. I usually write a first draft, sometimes using a similar speech pattern to other characters for one of them to see if it actually fits. For instance, I've got one storyline going right now with a character who doesn't use contractions and such, which can be rather entertaining. "You look so young." "I am not. I really am not." Somehow doesn't have the same ring as, "You look so young." "I'm not. I'm really not." For the character, however, who isn't really comfortable with modern vernacular and speaking patterns, it fits. Maybe the characters just need a testing ground to show you how they speak to one another?

Then again, I'm just obssessive about reading certain things and I latch onto aspects of a story and can't put it down until I've finished the entire series, if there is one. Sorry for being all... Well, yeah, not quite sure about that back there. Just ignore me, all decisions are, finally, in the hands of the artist who creates an artwork.

knowing the characters isn't so much the issue as is/was writing the diologue and emotions. It's something I was never very good at, and still am not, but I think my viewpoint looking back on it has soured some, and I really think it just turned out sounding not the way I wanted it to sound.

That makes sense. Wish there was a way I could help a bit. Mind you, the confusion and fear aspects are a bit more difficult to write, especially if there's even slight dual perspective. I perfectly understand. Sometimes it becomes a question of perfecting something, other times you see mistakes and it comes out to equal a massive issue that cannot be easily repaired.

Well, if you ever decide to write more to the story in the future, I'd gladly read it. Have fun with other projects, methink.

And actually, now that I think on it, I had a thought. The dialouge and emotions is where the issue lies, as well as any backstories... Well, there's a way to do it all, actually. The backstory could be self-contained, say a 'prolouge' kind of thing from some period before the time of the story. That kills the backstory issue neatly by providing a background of the world and the actual place they found.

To the emotions and dialouge: Unfortunately, that is one of the harder parts of writing original characters. Usually dialouge and emotion comes naturally to you, as the writer, and your response colours the character's response, no? In essence, you end up adding what you would say, or feel, to what the characters say or feel and it breaks the look you were going for. I may be way off base with this, I apologize if so. If I'm not, and you can think of any way you'd like to try to go about fixing it, I'm sure there are people here and there you could talk to to try and work out the details in your mind.

As I said before, though. Have fun with any other projects you step towards, you may just find one that can take the place of Tish and Cass. You write very well, by the way. Also glad to get a response.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I so was hoping for a 3rd chapter, evil cliffhanger is so evil, it's even more evil than Dr. Doom and Bizarro together!

     Hmmm. I remember the two Tish and Cass chapters. Found them quite worthy of the reading time spent
(several times to be honest, ahem. )

     That said, may I say I think I see your problem? Maybe.

     This story deals with a sorta specialized BDSM fetish. Call it self-bondage/self-entrapment (is there
a better name?). Take who the character is (or characters), add how and why she/he/they get stuck,
then inflict an unholy amount of sexual pleasure/punishment/pain/ecstasy (or none for an orgasm
denial story).

     Given the fuzzy line between sexual pleasure/punishment/pain/ecstasy, how or if the character(s) can
tell which is which, or after a while care, or if they ever get free: these are all good questions upon
which a plot can hinge (we need a plot for these puppies? Yes).

     The fantasy revolves around the ultimate 'subbiness' of the scenario. As in, now you is one, Character(s),
possibly permanently, and whether you like it or not. <MMMMPH!!> Was that an orgasm or a No?
<MMMMPH!!!> Oh. Orgasm.

     So who are Tish and Cass? In chap 1 you framed these two pretty vixens in typical BDSM terms,
Tish as the aggressor and Cass at first scared, but then powerfully turned on. Good subbie.

     Then <SNAP!!>. Tish is now stuck too. Chap 1 ends on a cliffhanger.

     Chapter 2 resolves it and all but writes itself. Having set these two up like this, you now put them
through a *highly* erotic couple of thousand words there. And end it in another cliffhanger as Cass
seems to vanish. What happens next? It's not obvious. This is where *you* got stuck.

     What I think is, you've laid the groundwork for two things: a Deus ex Machina, and a character
reversal. Something has lifted Cass away. Why? To tend to basic physical needs. There's
more to this place than meets the eye, far from just an abandoned storeroom.

     It used to be something else. After all this time it still is. I'll let you fill in the details.

     And Cass is now free (no need to explain how), and she understands a little about how and why
these machines work. And there are more of them.

     Now *she's* the aggressor. And ooooo, is Tish ever gonna to pay. There's your character reversal.
As for how Cass gets stuck again by the end of chapter 3 (or 4), I'll let you fill in the details. Seems
inevitable, really. She doesn't know everything.

     These two chapters were written over five years ago. The story and the characters have gone completely
cold. So a reread now is guaranteed to make you go bleagh!

     Not earned, IMHO. The story so far nails the subject matter to the wall: two fox girls in a fix
[of their own making] and they'll both be pretty sore in places by the time they get out of it. If they
get out of it. After a while, will they even want to?

     Yes, another good question there. Hope I helped.


FB.

wow lot of text...

issue isn't story/characters going cold, it's that the story didn't come out as close to as I originally intended it as I thought at the time. Part of it is the dialogue, and part is I didn't supply the backstory in places where it needed. I just wasn't very good at those aspects of the story.

Also cass isn't free, she's just.. elsewhere. >..>

I think the dialogue wasn't that bad and about the backstory, I dunno, I think the backstory was good too, perhaps a bit more information what that complex they went in could have been, but in my opinion too much backstory at once turns every story into "The Buddenbrocks"

     Wow, critique takes a lot of typing. Probably why there's not much of it around this joint. Two
[shorter] points.

     First, an opinion: Don't sweat the dialog here. Meaning don't let any felt weakness about
that slow you down. This is a story that depends overwhelmingly on description and
action, and delivered by you not Tess and Cass.

     Erotic texts are like that, and for a reason. The characters aren't in the story to talk. The writer's
job is to show that action, and sufficient to make the reader sweat. Euphemism.

     By that standard this story does just fine. Tess and Cass will have things to say to each
other? Sure. But chap 1 & 2 has given us enough sense of their 'voices,' enough of a
picture of their character and relationship.

     I'll predict that you'll find dialog coming easily here, once/if you can get this started.
You're not starting from scratch.

     Second, if this story didn't go in the direction you wanted, big hoo-hah. Happens to a lot of
stories, sometimes for the better. If not better, then it's 1) Rewrite, 2) Go with it, or 3) Drop it.
Can't think of a fourth choice.

     That said, if more backstory is the issue then you're right to growl at this story. There's
really not a lot of room, or any appropriate place, to put more backstory. What there is
in chap 1 is brief, a quick sketch of these two and the world they live in. Works well
enough.

     But you can't give any more. Have to get them into the action. And you do, and that works.
More backstory could come out as they talk--but there's no time. Or possibly in a scene before
the events in chap 1. The structure of the thing (and the sheer shortness) blocked you
from giving the reader more information. I'd growl too.

     Might be space in chap 3 for some of that? Maybe. The most crucial backstory, though,
deals with the nature of this place they're stuck in. You've set up a mystery: why are they
trapped and forced to cum over and over and over again? What are these strange erotic
machines?

     Tess and Cass are in a such a good position to figure this out, aren't they? That
looks like the nut chap 3 has to crack. I may be stating the obvious here.

     Could be worth a try. There: shorter this time. I'm so proud. :- )


FB.

Still holding out (probably in vain) for a sequel to Beth.

That one I definitely would like to sequel at some point, but my writing isn't really good enough yet, and I don't even know yet where I would go with it!