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Fatherhood: A subject we should talk about and so should you
14 years ago
General
***Song that inspired this paper*** We found love in a hopelless place:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjSI4zP9Fls&feature=youtube_gdata_player
This is a subject that very few talk about but that it seams everytime i do alot of my friends seam to be living the same thing then me.
That is the wish to be a fater
Now some of you may say: Zets your gay you cannot be a father.
THERE WAS NEVER A GREATER LIE!!!
The fact that we love men instead of womans does not and should not stop us when it comes to dreaming of fatherhood.
The process is more complex as adoption or a ceragate mother must be bring in the plan but the option is there.
Many friends i know out there had a father and a mother and lived horible lives because they where not love...I know this will not be what my shild would live.
ALL STUDIES
Have shows that shildren raised by a same sex couple when reaching adult hood where as smart if not more acceptant then other shildren and even had moreself esteam and its my mother and my syster will be greatly implied in my shild life so that he or she will have strong women presence in their life.
WHY I FEAL THAT WAY
I know deep inside myself that i am a wonderfull person and that i love thoose that i love from the botomb of my heart.
In me i know that i have nice values like the fact that men should cry and that emotions are a good thing to show to boys aswell as girl like it was teach by my parents and even at 24 years old i still hug my dad and cry whit him when i feal sad and he hugs me closse. My father is what i bealeve is and example for all fathers out there. There for his son and not achame to show afection as a men.
I bealeve that even if i had a boy that would like to do ballet that i would uby him his dancing shoes in a heartbeat and pay him ballet clases and that i would be the proudest of fathers to say that this would be my son on the stage. Or if it would be a girl and she would like to be a trucker that i would be even as proud and would always support them in all there dreams and be there when they would cry or rejoices from hapines.
WHAT I FEAR
I like many fear there teenage years and all that could happend but i know that i annot shelter them like i try to do whit the younger furs around me as i know that alot of people will exploit them out there. I show them the best i can how to not get hurt and yet still some does.
I would be hurt if my shild would turn to drugs and such but i know he would always have me to try and help him or her out of there.
AND MOST OF ALL
I would love them..
Only thinking about it makes me having tears in my eyes just by thinking about the fact that i could be a father... The simple joice like eathing breackfast in the morning or brigning them to school or to go camping or to visit their grandparents.
I want to be a father so bad.....My entirer body almost ask for it...I dream of them and everytime i wake up i feal like going to see them but knowing they do not exist.
NOW
Some may say this is creepy
I dont care
I know deep inside me that this is not and emotional dependasy or i am tryng to fill a void.
I know my feelings and i know that even in this cruel world, that i can be a good fater.
I love them more then anithing, that it would be one or many.
AND
In the end....i wish that my dream of fatherhood will materialise itself one day. it will be hard beyond reason, but i am strong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjSI4zP9Fls&feature=youtube_gdata_player
This is a subject that very few talk about but that it seams everytime i do alot of my friends seam to be living the same thing then me.
That is the wish to be a fater
Now some of you may say: Zets your gay you cannot be a father.
THERE WAS NEVER A GREATER LIE!!!
The fact that we love men instead of womans does not and should not stop us when it comes to dreaming of fatherhood.
The process is more complex as adoption or a ceragate mother must be bring in the plan but the option is there.
Many friends i know out there had a father and a mother and lived horible lives because they where not love...I know this will not be what my shild would live.
ALL STUDIES
Have shows that shildren raised by a same sex couple when reaching adult hood where as smart if not more acceptant then other shildren and even had moreself esteam and its my mother and my syster will be greatly implied in my shild life so that he or she will have strong women presence in their life.
WHY I FEAL THAT WAY
I know deep inside myself that i am a wonderfull person and that i love thoose that i love from the botomb of my heart.
In me i know that i have nice values like the fact that men should cry and that emotions are a good thing to show to boys aswell as girl like it was teach by my parents and even at 24 years old i still hug my dad and cry whit him when i feal sad and he hugs me closse. My father is what i bealeve is and example for all fathers out there. There for his son and not achame to show afection as a men.
I bealeve that even if i had a boy that would like to do ballet that i would uby him his dancing shoes in a heartbeat and pay him ballet clases and that i would be the proudest of fathers to say that this would be my son on the stage. Or if it would be a girl and she would like to be a trucker that i would be even as proud and would always support them in all there dreams and be there when they would cry or rejoices from hapines.
WHAT I FEAR
I like many fear there teenage years and all that could happend but i know that i annot shelter them like i try to do whit the younger furs around me as i know that alot of people will exploit them out there. I show them the best i can how to not get hurt and yet still some does.
I would be hurt if my shild would turn to drugs and such but i know he would always have me to try and help him or her out of there.
AND MOST OF ALL
I would love them..
Only thinking about it makes me having tears in my eyes just by thinking about the fact that i could be a father... The simple joice like eathing breackfast in the morning or brigning them to school or to go camping or to visit their grandparents.
I want to be a father so bad.....My entirer body almost ask for it...I dream of them and everytime i wake up i feal like going to see them but knowing they do not exist.
NOW
Some may say this is creepy
I dont care
I know deep inside me that this is not and emotional dependasy or i am tryng to fill a void.
I know my feelings and i know that even in this cruel world, that i can be a good fater.
I love them more then anithing, that it would be one or many.
AND
In the end....i wish that my dream of fatherhood will materialise itself one day. it will be hard beyond reason, but i am strong.
For hypochristians, maybe...
Anyone have the right to be a dad, and I know you enough to say you'll be an awesome one =)
Anyone telling you otherwise is probably better kept out of your life and away from your kids.
Personally, I don't want to have kids, but I wish you the best :) You would be a great father! You WILL BE a great father! :)
Which is a double misconclusion in my opinion...
Homosexuality is present in several cultures, it existed through several different ages, it is present among several species of animals and the scheme can be even found among plants. Same for war. Several cultures, thorough all history, and even among animals. These are natural.
Humans flying tho is not natural. But I don't see offended morons rising against planes and helicopters. Why?
Because even if you let an old Good versus Evil morality dictate your life, Natural/Unnatural is not synonym of Good/Evil.
But reasoning with people who let a dusty book tell them what's good or not is vain.
(Or with people who claim they're not religious but won't question their parent's values)
Because letting medias, parents, the pope or general opinion tell you how to think is so much easier than thinking by yourself.
Or, short answer..... because people are facking clueless sheep.
*out*
I like to think about it as "things we take for granted". There are just somethings we are used to, because they were always like that. We reject the idea of changing them, "just in case". Sir Ken Robinson made a great (and simple) example of this (although in a different context). To paraphrase:
If you take a look at two groups of people: one under 25 and the other above lets say above 35 you will notice that in the first group, very few people wear wristwatches, while in the other, the majority does. The older group is "used to" wearing a wrist watch. It's something they always did, just like their parents. They can check the time on their mobile phones, on their computers, microwave ovens, on a clock on each wall, on their VCRs, but they still insist on waring a wristwatch. You know... just in case. It's something they always did, so why change it. The other group sees the wristwatch as a useless device. They don't see the point of such a device.
I guess this is the most fundamental problem of progress in any field. Some people just stick to the things they are used to. Gay marriage or parenting is one of them. People just avoid it. They're not sure if it's good or bad, so they stick with how things are.
Maybe its a french thing
I read a news article last week describing why gay parents can make the best parents (http://news.yahoo.com/why-gay-parents-may-best-parents-131902676.html). One of the biggest reasons was that gay parents are more committed and motivated to be the best parents they can be because they actively choose to be parents. There is no case of, "You're pregnant? When did that happen?," due to careless sexual activity. Instead, there are surrogates or sperm donors involved, or the long process of adoption. They have to really want to have kids to go through all that in order to have them. The kids also grow up more well developed because they were raised in an atmosphere of open-mindedness, tolerance, and acceptance. There's more in the article and it's an interesting read.
If you and your future mate want to have kids then by all means, do what you have to do to become parents. Kids who are raised by parents who truly want and love them, regardless of the orientation/genders of the parents, will always be far better off than kids raised by parents who don't want them and see them as a burden, but just happen to be a heterosexual couple.
I once did and esay about the subjet and wrote it as my personal quest.
The teacher was quite impres and wished me the best of luck to fufill my dream.=)
Thank you alot for the kind and wise words Skyfox =3
Would rather like to ask me.via a.private note daught?