Aa ibitsu na MERODII de dekita
aisareru beki ikimono da
seika wa agerarenakute mo
kokoro ga utatte iru kara

aa dore dake tsuyoi ame koete
aisareru beki ikimono ka?
yakusoku ga mamorenakute mo
kokoro wa utatte iru kedo

dono DOA NOKKU shite aketara ii?
aketara doko e mukattara ii?
hitori ja kaerenai kara
dareka o matte ita dake

KIMI ga ima ichiban aitai hito wa dare?
kokoro no naka de dake hanaseru hito no kazu wa fuete iku
dakara
tsuyoku naritakatta tada

aa NYUUSE ga taningoto no you na
sono kokoro ga shinpaigoto da
zenryoku o waraeta hito mo
zenryoku de naite ita no ni

yoru ga kowai nara naitara ii
asa o mukaete waraetara ii
dore dake kyou ni tsukarete mo
mada minu kyou wa utsukushii'n da

taiyou o utagatte ite
tsuki yori sukoshi kagette
uso tsukarete kega mo shita kedo

taiyou o utagatte ite
tsuki yori sukoshi kagette
uso o tsuite kega mo saseta darou?

boku ga ima ichiban aitai hito wa dare?
kokoro no naka de dake hanaseru hito yo
kazu ga fuete iku no nara
boku wa ikirenai?

bokura mada yomitarinai monogatari
muriyari owarenai koto wakatte'te
dare mo mina jibun no mama
tsuyoku naritakatta kara

tsuyoku naritakatta tada..


those are lyrics to Newsong by Tacica.. in kanji.. so .. yeah. feeling like shit. crying in bed blah blah. insert typical i hate the world here..


in the off chance anyone cares. i dont believe in love anymore. because every time ive fallen, i get knocked out. k.o. ccccccombo breaker to my heart. i cant take much more. because i lay here thinking about loves past.. and it just hurts. i think about the good times.. and cry harder because i know ill never have those again..

so whatever. emo journal is emo. i dont give a flying fuck. i just want to go home. back when it was just us, your crazy stoner uncle killjoy who made each moment funnier.. and your sweet grandma bj.. i miss laying on your couch in teh basement watching tv, playing mk9 having you beat my ass.. i let you.. dont know if you know.. but i always let you win<3 what i miss the most is falling asleep with your arms around me.. or how every time i moved or switched positions youd pull me against you and hug me tight.. kiss my neck.. whisper to me how you loved me.. hah. i miss that. i have a few pics left of those days on my phone.. crying over them now along with that bear you gave me.. yeah i kept him.. sorry.


sorry im so emosad. just having a really rough couple of days.. and idk.. dont really have anyone out here i can talk to.. so ill just post here.. because i know you wont judge me..

anyway. water under a bridge i guess.