Which piles another log on the fire of shit I really don't feel like dealing with right now.

My day's sucked, my week's sucked and the last time I really enjoyed myself was back in Cali for con and even THAT turned gey in the end :/

I;m feeling uber down and I don't even have anyone to keep me company over here :/ I miss having a house full of people that were always there when I needed them to be and I miss having someone to hold me when I get all faggy and emotional :/ I don't even have someone to crawl in bed with anymore...

I'm taking the week off to recollect my fucked up self so that I can hopefully start looking for jobs come monday.

Talked to my parents. Now that I REALLY don'thave anything going on up here they REALLY want me to move back to CALI :/ If I don't have any leads by friday, I think Ima take my dad up on an offer he gave me to move back home and start college...the idea of which I loathe entirely...
What's the point moving to California where I'll be just as miserable over my ex and life situation save that I'll be dealing with all that with my parents in a town that barely has anything to keep a person busy :/

But I'm tired of where I am right now and getting canned just trashed my plans for a car and moving and I don't wanna do any of that until I get into somewhere new and actually feel the place out first which could take months to settle :/

I don't wanna move to CA but I don't wanna stay where I'm at anymore :/ I don't feel I belong much of anywhere between point A and B and I'm just feeling generally disheartened about everything...

Sorry for all the emo journals...not like I like being a whiny bitch, but writing is how I vent my frustrations and l'm a pansy...I kinda don't know how to react right now :/

And when my manager fired me, she had the balls to tell me a major factor was that she knew what was going on in my personal life and felt it was stealing my focus from my work....then to ice the cake, she actualy had the audacity to ask me when the last time I was genuinely happy was and that firing me should give me the time she feels I needed to regroup myself...all firing me did was take al my present issues and drop a fucking brink on them :/

And I keep waiting for that one person to knock on my fucking door, walk into my room and make me feel better....but hes not my support system anymore and as such won't be making any of those moves....and yet I keep on waiting...

And I can't even fucking sleep properly this week...I've had like 14 hours of the stuff since tuesday...and it's now Saturday :/ I just can't calm myself down...thats one reason I'm so emotional...I get cranky when I'm worn out :/

Ionno...Today has me reeling...it was a really bad day...

Also I won't be getting my 425 number back...someone else is getting my phone and line :/

And then I realized how few of youI have that will even wind up reading this :/
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I don't like my life right now :/ ~curls up