This is a rant...

Ok well this semester started out quite well for me actually.. I joined a frat... I bought a gun... I partyed alot... and i was getting really good grades in ALL my classes... But aparently I am not aloud to be happy for long and one of my classes became hard as hell and i got an F on the test we just had... Now when im sitting in that class nothing that comes out of the professors mouth makes any sence and its driving me crazy. It has already put me back into a terriable state of depression because i cant afford to fail another class... because if I do i get put on Academic Suspension and then i cant come back to school for a semester... and if that happened to me... i would be ruined... I would pry just you know... become an alcoholic.. smoke weed all the time and just become a waste of life... I came to college to get away from that... but if this fucking college keeps pushing me away and making it impossible to do what i want to do in life... then i guess lifes a bitch and then you die.... I am gona go grab my handle now and drink my ass off tonight until i just pass the fuck out and maby just try to enjoy my friday night... Life just seems to keep making me feel like a failure.. and no matter what i do.. it always feels that way..