Still, when I try to put myself into the state of mind to think about and plan out a MIDI, I start getting this horrible wave of stress. My heart races and pounds, and I start to have the onset of a panic attack. All because of my memory of what happened when I tried to show Albaster my latest MIDI, and the way he treated me then.

How do I diffuse this panic trigger? I'd like to be able to do MIDI music again without risk to my physical health. Since I started doing MIDIs in 1996, I don't think I've ever gone this long without making one.