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This is my side, for all those who care.
14 years ago
General
"Addik lied to me when he called me his boyfriend." Qoth the mouse.
IF I may add my side of the story....
To be quite honest I have a hard time NOT agreeing with whatever anyone wants me too when I have an emotional attachment to them. ESPECIALLY when they give me the helpless puppy-dog eyes Hippiemouse did. I said I loved him, yes. But I also love sailing and taking dogs for walks.
Same goes for the BF thing. As far as I'm concerned, Its always been a one way street in that reguards. otherwise, All in his head.
For those that know me, and my bad communication habits on the web, You know I hate FA and don't post here often (fuck you, Fender and Dragoneer) With that said, please listent to my side.
Hippiemouse has been hopelessly in love with me since the start, since I saw him that lonely, cold night almost a year ago when I woulda had to sleep in my car. I had no where to go after :
anari and I broke up. I came to him because he was an old friend with a warm heart and a couch for night or 3. Well, he welcomed me, and fell in love because I was the first thing with nuts that gave him the time of day and didn't want to screw him over. I still don't. I still care about the guy. But in the same way I always have, He formed this delusion into a relationship built on guilting me into having him be emotionally dependant on me to even function. Not to mention using my fear of being homeless against me, if i don't love him, i can find anther place of residence. That sort of thing.
I have a heart, and I do feel for his loss, but when I'm guilted into something, that's the kind of emotinal abuse i grew up with. I DO NOT need that shit anymore.
In fact, I've about had all I can. I'm ready to move on and keep hippiemouse as a good friend and wonderful person, but not a relationship. Its been a delicate fabrication f his own desperate self-conscious this whole time. I'm not trying to hurt him, I swear it's not in me. Mouse has the amazing ability to set himself up AND knock himself down. Being guilted by his 'search' for a mate into a forced imaginary relatinship so i could have piece of mind for a few months has gone too far. I can't deal with him being completely depressed constantly, running to the bottle, or the pipe for when i tell him how to fix things as he throws them in his face. He's reactionary, immature, and sadly...just fucking sad. I can't be around this much depression without feeling empathetic and its KILLING me. I can't even stand to be around him 50% of the time anymore because he's one big Debbie Downer. He relies on me to find him friends, take him places, and now a mate. drive him everywhere, and constantly embarrasses me in public due to his aspergers. His mouth has no filters, and he even embarrassed the fuck out of me (and himself) in front of his own mother.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him by any stretch of the word, but goddamnit if anyone could live with him as long as i have and not go insane, i'd offer up some prize money and respect.
IF I may add my side of the story....
To be quite honest I have a hard time NOT agreeing with whatever anyone wants me too when I have an emotional attachment to them. ESPECIALLY when they give me the helpless puppy-dog eyes Hippiemouse did. I said I loved him, yes. But I also love sailing and taking dogs for walks.
Same goes for the BF thing. As far as I'm concerned, Its always been a one way street in that reguards. otherwise, All in his head.
For those that know me, and my bad communication habits on the web, You know I hate FA and don't post here often (fuck you, Fender and Dragoneer) With that said, please listent to my side.
Hippiemouse has been hopelessly in love with me since the start, since I saw him that lonely, cold night almost a year ago when I woulda had to sleep in my car. I had no where to go after :
anari and I broke up. I came to him because he was an old friend with a warm heart and a couch for night or 3. Well, he welcomed me, and fell in love because I was the first thing with nuts that gave him the time of day and didn't want to screw him over. I still don't. I still care about the guy. But in the same way I always have, He formed this delusion into a relationship built on guilting me into having him be emotionally dependant on me to even function. Not to mention using my fear of being homeless against me, if i don't love him, i can find anther place of residence. That sort of thing. I have a heart, and I do feel for his loss, but when I'm guilted into something, that's the kind of emotinal abuse i grew up with. I DO NOT need that shit anymore.
In fact, I've about had all I can. I'm ready to move on and keep hippiemouse as a good friend and wonderful person, but not a relationship. Its been a delicate fabrication f his own desperate self-conscious this whole time. I'm not trying to hurt him, I swear it's not in me. Mouse has the amazing ability to set himself up AND knock himself down. Being guilted by his 'search' for a mate into a forced imaginary relatinship so i could have piece of mind for a few months has gone too far. I can't deal with him being completely depressed constantly, running to the bottle, or the pipe for when i tell him how to fix things as he throws them in his face. He's reactionary, immature, and sadly...just fucking sad. I can't be around this much depression without feeling empathetic and its KILLING me. I can't even stand to be around him 50% of the time anymore because he's one big Debbie Downer. He relies on me to find him friends, take him places, and now a mate. drive him everywhere, and constantly embarrasses me in public due to his aspergers. His mouth has no filters, and he even embarrassed the fuck out of me (and himself) in front of his own mother.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him by any stretch of the word, but goddamnit if anyone could live with him as long as i have and not go insane, i'd offer up some prize money and respect.
Also...i only said that if you can not love me then stop leading me on and try to find another place to live...i never ment that id kick you out if you didnt...all i wanted was to stop the pain i was in over living with someone who keeps telling me they love me when they did not....all i wanted was the truth...to know if you where the one who would put an end to this quest for love that i have been on for 22 long and painful years.
I wish you the best of luck in your life dude...you mean the world to me...always have and always will
How could i not fall in love with you....you are a wonderful person...so smart and kind.....you've even made me smile and laugh when i did not think i could....and watching movies with you is such a joy...you always pipe up and tell me something about the film i would have never known.
I only ever wanted to make you happy...but since i cant....then i truely hope you will find someone who can make you happy....even if it is not me.