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A FRIEND NEEDS HELP NOW!!!!!!!!!!! READ THIS!!!!!!
14 years ago
General
HEY...look at that! *points below*
this is the jernal of 
Arkveveen PLEASE POST AND SPRED THE WORD PEOPLE!!!
What I need help with:
1. I need to meet a furry in person here in Wildomar, California, who'd be willing to drive me to a clinic or whatnot so I can start getting these health issues diagnosed. Also, I just need more real life friends or to meet furries in real life.
2. I need financial support to go see a doctor or at least go to the free clinic.
3. Emotional support in my time of need.
Hello again everybody.
It doesn't look like things are going so well for me. My health is in an unknown status, and I worry I may be hospitalized or dead.
But, I realized that I have very terrible habits. For instance, I seem to put ROADBLOCKS up in my own life and have a bad case of "learned helplessness". I always get in my own way and create reasons for not being able to help myself. Other habits include dragging strangers/friends/family down into my own problems by ranting to them, asking for help, and always making up reasons for why none of the help or suggestions will work. It essentially defeats the purpose to even ask for help if I keep refusing it or acting like I am refusing it. It's a viscous cycle of getting severely worried to the point I am crying, reaching out for help, and then forgetting about all of it for awhile. I can't put it off any longer, I may have a bad heart problem and may suffer the consequences if I continue to act like there isn't a problem simply because I didn't die or get hospitalized yet. But yet my body does not respond to my concerns, I just sit and complain like I am doing now. I make up reasons that I think are true for not even doing anything, as I said. But if this continues, I will die. I don't want to die at all, and the very thought of it makes me want to cry. Life is too wonderful and fun to just let myself die, but yet why can't I just go confront my mom again to help me? Why do I just forget about all this and just go on with my life?
Whatever the case is, I have the threat of homelessness on the horizon thanks to my current living situation (jobless, living with parents who are not getting any younger, don't have driver's license). Yet I don't do anything because I am an idiot. I have a serious psychological issue if I think things are going to continue being so comfortable forever if I don't do anything to help myself. But instead, I reach out for help and expect people to drive me to a clinic, help pay for a physical exam, or whatnot. I expect actual physical aid, rather than advice. But I don't know of anyone willing to help... Otherwise, I shouldn't drag you all down into this, I deserve whatever health problem I have, and then some. It's my atonement for being a selfish, whiny brat even at 24 years of age. Spoiled, lazy, and completely helpless in mind but not in body.
So, thank you all for your support, and pray for me. Because soon, I may not be long for this world. At least in the coming years...
THATS ALL THERE WAS GUYS, ARKVEVEEN IS ALSO STARTING A CAMPAIGN TO HELP SAVE HER SELF. PLEASE!!! CHECK IN WITH HER AS REGULARLY AS YOU CAN, SPREADING THIS JOURNAL IS ONE WAY TO HELP AND ALSO SHE WILL BE POSTING AWARENESS PICTURES WHEN EVER POSIBLE.
Arkveveen PLEASE POST AND SPRED THE WORD PEOPLE!!!What I need help with:
1. I need to meet a furry in person here in Wildomar, California, who'd be willing to drive me to a clinic or whatnot so I can start getting these health issues diagnosed. Also, I just need more real life friends or to meet furries in real life.
2. I need financial support to go see a doctor or at least go to the free clinic.
3. Emotional support in my time of need.
Hello again everybody.
It doesn't look like things are going so well for me. My health is in an unknown status, and I worry I may be hospitalized or dead.
But, I realized that I have very terrible habits. For instance, I seem to put ROADBLOCKS up in my own life and have a bad case of "learned helplessness". I always get in my own way and create reasons for not being able to help myself. Other habits include dragging strangers/friends/family down into my own problems by ranting to them, asking for help, and always making up reasons for why none of the help or suggestions will work. It essentially defeats the purpose to even ask for help if I keep refusing it or acting like I am refusing it. It's a viscous cycle of getting severely worried to the point I am crying, reaching out for help, and then forgetting about all of it for awhile. I can't put it off any longer, I may have a bad heart problem and may suffer the consequences if I continue to act like there isn't a problem simply because I didn't die or get hospitalized yet. But yet my body does not respond to my concerns, I just sit and complain like I am doing now. I make up reasons that I think are true for not even doing anything, as I said. But if this continues, I will die. I don't want to die at all, and the very thought of it makes me want to cry. Life is too wonderful and fun to just let myself die, but yet why can't I just go confront my mom again to help me? Why do I just forget about all this and just go on with my life?
Whatever the case is, I have the threat of homelessness on the horizon thanks to my current living situation (jobless, living with parents who are not getting any younger, don't have driver's license). Yet I don't do anything because I am an idiot. I have a serious psychological issue if I think things are going to continue being so comfortable forever if I don't do anything to help myself. But instead, I reach out for help and expect people to drive me to a clinic, help pay for a physical exam, or whatnot. I expect actual physical aid, rather than advice. But I don't know of anyone willing to help... Otherwise, I shouldn't drag you all down into this, I deserve whatever health problem I have, and then some. It's my atonement for being a selfish, whiny brat even at 24 years of age. Spoiled, lazy, and completely helpless in mind but not in body.
So, thank you all for your support, and pray for me. Because soon, I may not be long for this world. At least in the coming years...
THATS ALL THERE WAS GUYS, ARKVEVEEN IS ALSO STARTING A CAMPAIGN TO HELP SAVE HER SELF. PLEASE!!! CHECK IN WITH HER AS REGULARLY AS YOU CAN, SPREADING THIS JOURNAL IS ONE WAY TO HELP AND ALSO SHE WILL BE POSTING AWARENESS PICTURES WHEN EVER POSIBLE.
but ill try