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10 things husbands (or significant others) should never do.
14 years ago
Alright, so I found this article while browsing the internet and decided to take a read of it. Bloody entertaining as I write my own notes next to it
Guys, we love you, we really do. But as wonderful as you are, every so often you do something that makes us want to jump out the nearest window (or push you out first). Please, please, don’t ever…
1. Offer to “babysit” your own kids. When your 16-year-old neighbor does it, it’s called babysitting. When a parent does it, it’s called child care, and it lasts for at least 18 years. Get it? Irrelevant to me. I don't think I ever want kids.
2. Imply that office work is harder than housework. At the end of a hard day, there may be smoke coming out of your ears, but let’s face it: You’ve basically been sitting on your butt. That same smoke is coming out of our ears too—but we’ve cleaned the house, shuttled the kids around, run errands all over town and lugged grocery bags besides. When we say we’re exhausted, we are exhausted. Eh, replace housework with my work. It evens the field. I can't do Cruger's job and he can't do mine.
3. Give a home appliance as a gift. Forgive us if we can’t work it up for this one. A new washing machine? Really? Can we get you some new snow tires? Honestly, I think Cruger would love new snow tires >.< I wouldn't want a new washing machine though. Where do I put it? Better idea, a blender. You know one of those small personal ones. Or even better yet, http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/e973/
4. Buy us the “cougar” perfume. Under our crew-neck sweaters may beat the heart of an untamed vixen—but most of us don’t want to smell like one. (Nice try, though.) Meh, I think there's a greater issue of what would happen if I got perfume from anyone and tried it out. You would have a very pink/red hellhound with skin flakes everywhere
5. Brag about your driving. This is supposed to let us know that ours isn’t so great. If my husband tells me one more time that he’s been “accident-free since 1978,” I’m going to reach over, grab the wheel and make the car swerve into something, just to shut him up. True...for the best role model in this case, refer to http://motoroids.com/site/wp-conten.....8/The-Stig.jpg Silent, mysterious and a damn good driver(s)
6. Be unimpressed by a meal that took a lot of time and trouble. I don’t know whose fault this is (Food Network? Julie and Julia?), but every so often we get the idea that it would be fun to make stock and spend the day basting. If the result is less than earth-shattering, say something nice anyway. or complain when we go out for a nice meal.
7. Buy clothes without trying them on. We know that the second you get into a department store you start to feel faint, but do us a favor and take the extra five minutes. Otherwise, you know who gets stuck with the returns? Not me, I ain't driving
8. Know it all, especially in public. Oh, honey. While you’re going on at length about whatever it is, we’re taking the temperature of the room, and we know everyone’s starting to fidget. Food is a wonderfully useful tool if this were to happen...mrow!
9. Say anything remotely critical about our new haircut. Sometimes getting a new cut goes well; sometimes it doesn’t. Usually we know the difference. Don’t rub it in. Meh, true but, I like my hair boring
10. Expect a medal for doing a little housework. Umm…it’s your house too, right? For now, we’ll give you the bronze. Maybe someday, if you work hard enough, you can pick up a gold. sadly, I don't do housework. I spend too much time sleeping
Guys, we love you, we really do. But as wonderful as you are, every so often you do something that makes us want to jump out the nearest window (or push you out first). Please, please, don’t ever…
1. Offer to “babysit” your own kids. When your 16-year-old neighbor does it, it’s called babysitting. When a parent does it, it’s called child care, and it lasts for at least 18 years. Get it? Irrelevant to me. I don't think I ever want kids.
2. Imply that office work is harder than housework. At the end of a hard day, there may be smoke coming out of your ears, but let’s face it: You’ve basically been sitting on your butt. That same smoke is coming out of our ears too—but we’ve cleaned the house, shuttled the kids around, run errands all over town and lugged grocery bags besides. When we say we’re exhausted, we are exhausted. Eh, replace housework with my work. It evens the field. I can't do Cruger's job and he can't do mine.
3. Give a home appliance as a gift. Forgive us if we can’t work it up for this one. A new washing machine? Really? Can we get you some new snow tires? Honestly, I think Cruger would love new snow tires >.< I wouldn't want a new washing machine though. Where do I put it? Better idea, a blender. You know one of those small personal ones. Or even better yet, http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/e973/
4. Buy us the “cougar” perfume. Under our crew-neck sweaters may beat the heart of an untamed vixen—but most of us don’t want to smell like one. (Nice try, though.) Meh, I think there's a greater issue of what would happen if I got perfume from anyone and tried it out. You would have a very pink/red hellhound with skin flakes everywhere
5. Brag about your driving. This is supposed to let us know that ours isn’t so great. If my husband tells me one more time that he’s been “accident-free since 1978,” I’m going to reach over, grab the wheel and make the car swerve into something, just to shut him up. True...for the best role model in this case, refer to http://motoroids.com/site/wp-conten.....8/The-Stig.jpg Silent, mysterious and a damn good driver(s)
6. Be unimpressed by a meal that took a lot of time and trouble. I don’t know whose fault this is (Food Network? Julie and Julia?), but every so often we get the idea that it would be fun to make stock and spend the day basting. If the result is less than earth-shattering, say something nice anyway. or complain when we go out for a nice meal.
7. Buy clothes without trying them on. We know that the second you get into a department store you start to feel faint, but do us a favor and take the extra five minutes. Otherwise, you know who gets stuck with the returns? Not me, I ain't driving
8. Know it all, especially in public. Oh, honey. While you’re going on at length about whatever it is, we’re taking the temperature of the room, and we know everyone’s starting to fidget. Food is a wonderfully useful tool if this were to happen...mrow!
9. Say anything remotely critical about our new haircut. Sometimes getting a new cut goes well; sometimes it doesn’t. Usually we know the difference. Don’t rub it in. Meh, true but, I like my hair boring
10. Expect a medal for doing a little housework. Umm…it’s your house too, right? For now, we’ll give you the bronze. Maybe someday, if you work hard enough, you can pick up a gold. sadly, I don't do housework. I spend too much time sleeping
Cruger
~cruger
