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My Day Of Mourning
13 years ago
Warning, if you do not want to read a very sad journal, please let me be. I thank you all in advance that will offer your condolences. It is very much appreciated.
Earlier this morning, I got a call from my father, telling me that my dog, Carley had lost the use of her hind legs. I drove over and found her curled up in my step mothers arms on the floor. I picked her up, through painful whimpers and groans, and brought her to the car. We drove to the emergency pet clinic where the vet there surmised that the nerves in her lower back had became unresponsive. She was a ripe old age of 15. We decided that this was no way for her to live the rest of her life. So, my beautiful baby girl died in my very arms under euthanasia. She died quietly, and all too quickly. I'm still crying and every word of this journal feels like a knife in my chest. I want to tear my heart out, if it means I can have relief from the pain.
I think I'm gonna go to sleep here in a few minutes. Maybe I can sleep off my grief. I cried a lot today. More than I have in ten years.
Earlier this morning, I got a call from my father, telling me that my dog, Carley had lost the use of her hind legs. I drove over and found her curled up in my step mothers arms on the floor. I picked her up, through painful whimpers and groans, and brought her to the car. We drove to the emergency pet clinic where the vet there surmised that the nerves in her lower back had became unresponsive. She was a ripe old age of 15. We decided that this was no way for her to live the rest of her life. So, my beautiful baby girl died in my very arms under euthanasia. She died quietly, and all too quickly. I'm still crying and every word of this journal feels like a knife in my chest. I want to tear my heart out, if it means I can have relief from the pain.
I think I'm gonna go to sleep here in a few minutes. Maybe I can sleep off my grief. I cried a lot today. More than I have in ten years.
ive been there i know what your feeling
*hugs*
Know also that the pain will pale and weaken, and though you will think of it every day for the coming weeks, soon you'll think of it only a few times a week, then only every once-in-a-while, and soon you'll be able to remember the warm and comforting memories with a sweet smile.
There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie--
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart to a dog to tear.
When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find--it's your own affair--
But ... you've given your heart to a dog to tear.
When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone--wherever it goes--for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.
We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-term loan is as bad as a long--
So why in--Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
Rudyard Kipling
I buried her gave myself. I made sure it was deep enough, I put her in, and I buried her. It... I think it really helped, that I buried her.
Then our other cat died a week later. We found him dead on the side of the road, and my dad and sister said they heard a pack of stray dogs and a cat making all sorts of noise last night. We didn't realize what was going on, and I didn't hear it while I was sleeping. So, apparently our other cat was killed by stray dogs for sport. I don't hate every stray dog, but I just didn't have it in my bury our other cat just a week after I buried the first one. Thankfully, my dad offered to and did bury him.
I'm not saying this to compare my experience to yours, or to try and sound sadder in anyway. I'm just saying, I know what it's like, at least in some way. I know it isn't easy, and some may not understand what it's like to grieve for a pet who has passed, but I know, and I'm here for you as well as I can be. If you ever want to chat, let me know, but even if we don't chat I hope this helps you in some way.