Can someone please explain to me why I'm suffering through this fucking crap at school so I can get a degree and work the rest of my life? What's the point of that shit? So I can be happy? Fucking A, being happy is seriously becoming Not Worth This. I'm normally very good at seeing the big picture, but my life has gotten down to scheduling hours in my day in order to possibly see if I can maybe not fail my classes.

And why the hell am I completely falling apart for a man after years of being self sufficent in the way of companionship? Why do I now, oh god especially now, when, as mentioned above, I'm failin gmy classes? And why this particular guy, when I've had merely a passing interest at best. Oh, yeah, he gave me a little bit of attention. Now I'm turning into an obsessive and paranoid human being that I"m praying that I, and all of my friends, can weather. Otherwise, I think I may end up alienating all of them.

Yes, I know I have relatively very little to complain about, as I have a job that pays for food and a roof over my head and education, both of which my parents are paying for. I know there's a lot more that could go wrong with my life and I'm being rather emo if my life sucks because my balancing act is starting to come down on me. Anyone who feels the need to try and one-up me can go and piss off.

I don't feel much better.