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Fat Oppression, Thin Privilege?
14 years ago
General
š RANSOM.CAT I'm partially just cross-posting this here to bump that old journal off my page, haha. But I don't post on here that much, and when I do, it's typically lighthearted, or to let you know that I'm going AFK on some deployment. My most-personal experiences are reserved for my LJ, but maybe I should share some of my thoughts here as well, to let people know I have more opinions and emotions than just "that's awesome!"
Neive reblogged an article on her Tumblr, about the shitty judgement that fat people face every day: Fat Oppression, Thin Privilege, and Why My Fat Ass is Leaving No Room for You in the Conversation.
I read it. It brings up a lot of good points about how fat people are shamed on a constant basis. However, when it starts taking jabs at skinny people, that's when I take issue. I recommend reading the original post for the context, but my experiences with being underweight pretty much stand on their own:
"I very much agree with a lot of this; people need to relax their standards with what makes an ideal body type. I hate the āfuck you and your thin privilegeā attitude, though.
My experience with being underweight has been worse than āsomeone once told me to eat a sandwich.ā I was teased about it constantly as I grew up. āStick,ā ābones,ā āanorexicā ā words I heard constantly. Even now, as a grown man, in the last week, I was described as āemaciatedā by a friend, and a coworker told me to go āeat a steakā ā again. And one of the sergeants at the base will, without fail, make some comment about how I look like Iāve ābeen working outā every time he sees me. A master corporal told me that I didn't have enough body fat and that I was "going to die" when I deployed to the Arctic. When I was visiting a friend overseas, she had another houseguest, some tremendous idiot, who, upon seeing me shirtless, exclaimed overt disgust. And when I met some of my online friends for the first time at a con, two of them, separately, looked me over and commented about how Iām skinny. Even one of my lovers once commented on it. Thatās why I never tell people how much I weigh anymore; they always make a big deal. Itās left me with self-esteem issues that Iāve worked hard to overcome, but I still will opt to wear long sleeves in all but the most unbearably-hot weather, to mask my thin wrists. And when Iām wearing little more than shorts while swimming, or working out, I feel like Iām being judged constantly. I hate it.
As for clothes-shopping, I have trouble finding a good fit too. I remember that I once got jeans as a gift; they didnāt fit, so I took them to the store, a store that sells pretty much nothing but jeans, to exchange them. I couldnāt find anything in my waist and length. Off-the-rack dress shirts are the same, often fitting well in the collar, or the sleeve length, but not both. Itās why I get my shirts custom-made. My jacket selection, likewise, is pretty paltry. I ask that my family donāt buy me clothes anymore.
Oh, as for that improptu road trip thing, guess who, despite his height, is expected to sit in that stupidly-tiny middle seat in the back every time.
Fat people can always eat less and get more cardio, if they want to lose weight. Iāve wanted so badly to bulk up, but I canāt afford the ridiculous diet and supplements that an ectomorph needs. Iāll never change unless I can cram six meals each day down range. I wish it were just as simple as eating a sandwich.
Iām naturally skinny. Iām healthy, and Iām perfectly capable of performing my highly-physical job. But Iām still expected to be different, because my body, capable as it may be, still isnāt good enough.
Youāve absolutely had a tough go from society as a fat person. Just please donāt dismiss my experiences as trivial and āprivilegedā because you think youāve had it worse."
So yeah. Being fat isn't fun, but being skinny isn't either.
Neive reblogged an article on her Tumblr, about the shitty judgement that fat people face every day: Fat Oppression, Thin Privilege, and Why My Fat Ass is Leaving No Room for You in the Conversation.I read it. It brings up a lot of good points about how fat people are shamed on a constant basis. However, when it starts taking jabs at skinny people, that's when I take issue. I recommend reading the original post for the context, but my experiences with being underweight pretty much stand on their own:
"I very much agree with a lot of this; people need to relax their standards with what makes an ideal body type. I hate the āfuck you and your thin privilegeā attitude, though.
My experience with being underweight has been worse than āsomeone once told me to eat a sandwich.ā I was teased about it constantly as I grew up. āStick,ā ābones,ā āanorexicā ā words I heard constantly. Even now, as a grown man, in the last week, I was described as āemaciatedā by a friend, and a coworker told me to go āeat a steakā ā again. And one of the sergeants at the base will, without fail, make some comment about how I look like Iāve ābeen working outā every time he sees me. A master corporal told me that I didn't have enough body fat and that I was "going to die" when I deployed to the Arctic. When I was visiting a friend overseas, she had another houseguest, some tremendous idiot, who, upon seeing me shirtless, exclaimed overt disgust. And when I met some of my online friends for the first time at a con, two of them, separately, looked me over and commented about how Iām skinny. Even one of my lovers once commented on it. Thatās why I never tell people how much I weigh anymore; they always make a big deal. Itās left me with self-esteem issues that Iāve worked hard to overcome, but I still will opt to wear long sleeves in all but the most unbearably-hot weather, to mask my thin wrists. And when Iām wearing little more than shorts while swimming, or working out, I feel like Iām being judged constantly. I hate it.
As for clothes-shopping, I have trouble finding a good fit too. I remember that I once got jeans as a gift; they didnāt fit, so I took them to the store, a store that sells pretty much nothing but jeans, to exchange them. I couldnāt find anything in my waist and length. Off-the-rack dress shirts are the same, often fitting well in the collar, or the sleeve length, but not both. Itās why I get my shirts custom-made. My jacket selection, likewise, is pretty paltry. I ask that my family donāt buy me clothes anymore.
Oh, as for that improptu road trip thing, guess who, despite his height, is expected to sit in that stupidly-tiny middle seat in the back every time.
Fat people can always eat less and get more cardio, if they want to lose weight. Iāve wanted so badly to bulk up, but I canāt afford the ridiculous diet and supplements that an ectomorph needs. Iāll never change unless I can cram six meals each day down range. I wish it were just as simple as eating a sandwich.
Iām naturally skinny. Iām healthy, and Iām perfectly capable of performing my highly-physical job. But Iām still expected to be different, because my body, capable as it may be, still isnāt good enough.
Youāve absolutely had a tough go from society as a fat person. Just please donāt dismiss my experiences as trivial and āprivilegedā because you think youāve had it worse."
So yeah. Being fat isn't fun, but being skinny isn't either.
This is especially true with women who have to endure a certain type of man (and woman,) who feel it is his god-given right to judge her appearance/weight. A woman has to suffer through a body with a natural tendency toward storing and retaining weight, while enduring a much higher level of scrutiny over every pound. You can see this in every "no fat chicks" sign. And when you do see this, you should immediately consider arson.
All that said, I agree with your underlying point. It doesn't do any good to point accusatory fingers at the exceptionally skinny when making a plea for common courtesy. That's "crabs in a bucket" sort of thinking. Best if we all treat one another like human beings with various quirks, positives and negatives. The weight concern should mainly be a matter of health and not much more. Because all the rest of the concerns are already on every fat and skinny person's mind. Nobody needs to reiterate them. Trust them, they know.
That's a well-written reply, Bishie, especially the last paragraph. Thanks for reading!
I'm notoriously skinny as well, though luckily not enough to be called emaciated... I was a fat kid and got picked on a lot, then shot up 6 inches and was thin ever since. Went in the military, and like you, got told to eat more or go on a special program because I only weighed 113 pounds. I eventually got it up because of muscle mass, but I agree that you get shamed no matter where you are on the spectrum all dependent on what someone else thinks you should look like.
And personally, I've seen people who look good in all body-types (excluding the unhealthily overweight (obese) and underweight (anorexic)). You should just try to have a healthy lifestyle and let your weight be what it's gonna be.
For the record, I'm not emaciated, I'm just an ectomorph; and I have no eating disorderāI eat like a garbage disposal. It's just people can be such dicks. I try to feel good about myself, and I've gotten a whole lot better over the years, but I still encounter this crap on a fairly regular basis. It'd be nice to wear a t-shirt without feeling like I'm being judged.
I never bought into the "fat people are oppressed" mentality; one can find any arbitrary category of people who endure some sort of hardship (real or imagined) for whatever reason someone happens to invent. Just be yourself. If someone else is small enough that they see fit to mock you for who you are, then they are unlikely to be satisfied with you even if you change to meet their standards; they'll just find some other way to belittle you.
It's the way people are. I think everyone would be a lot happier if we all learned to ignore such nonsense and just lived our own lives the way we choose instead of engaging in endless and ultimately futile attempts to satisfy those who are insatiable.
I do try to feel good about my body, and I have gained more love for myself over the years. I do have people who tell me I'm attractive, and it does make me feel good. But I still encounter this criticism on a somewhat frequent basis, and have to try to ignore it; as much as I joke about being egotistical and narcissistic, my self-esteem isn't made of stone.
I sympathize with you though. I have a lot to prove when it comes to the judgements people make of me based on my appearance. Though it's not so severe as one with as high a metabolism as you.
I did feel like I proved something about myself when I made it through boot camp. Every once in a while, I encounter someone I knew from school, and the reaction is always the same: surprise. That's right, bitches, I'm an infantryman now.
You're a thin girl, Kitt. Have you had to deal with crap like this as much as I have? I've had a suspicion that women might not get it as badly as men, because if any block of commercials on TV are anything to go by, society seems obsessed with getting them to lose weight.
But I would venture to say from observation that women are very snarky about weight (moms frequently comment on daughters' 'pudge'), BUT from what you've said about dudes being the same about you, I think that within genders, there's a lot of more verbal judgment. Like it'd be considered a dick move for a man to walk right up to a lady and say something about packing on the cake (or, even more unfathomable, telling her to eat a steak), but man to man people seem to feel they have more liberties. Woman to woman too, because it can be masked as 'concern'.
...Actually I think what I'm trying to get at is people are asses.
Go on being a dick though. That's fine.