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Thick skin
14 years ago
General
The truth may come in clever disguises...
"That bitch is tougher than a two dollar steak cooked well done." ~Me
A little montra that i use on occation to discibe any number of people or situations deemed worthy. I only wish more people, expecially furries, could adopt this in there lives. I'm older-I have a thick skin, both emotionally and physically, but i do bleed and I'm always shocked that its not black. Life has not always been kind-i was a micro geek in High school, un noticed by the girls-tanuted by others...even my own cousins who came from the chatholic school after eigth grade~so yeah, i put on the only armore i could forge.
I got sick of the bullshit-sick of no friends-sick of not being included~the brunt of jokes~others opinions...the list goes on.
Theres another saying a mentor of mine~an Eagle (not furry, but thats how i saw him) told me a long time ago, and wow does it ever hold true. "Get in where you fit in....and if your corners don't match find another hole." As funny as it sounded to me then, it holds so much more meaning now.
After he told me that, I began to look at things in a different light. Did i really want to be included in a clik or what the fuck ever it was at the time...that i had not an ounce common ground in? I was outside looking in, all I could see was what I "thought" was so appealing~only because I didnt have it. I was'nt invited-for obvious reasons-I see that now, but back then all I was allowing myself to know was rejection by proxy.
I was'nt alone, but could I see that? No. Fear of future rejection became my bed partner, and i was the bottom every time with no lube.
So I decided to say tit-fuck that noise and find my place outside of the norm...what did the "norm" ever do for me but make me contemplate going down the river, not across the street? And I have never looked back-why should I? People, furs and non furs alike, that i "have something" a certian appeal that others wish to emulate or just wanna be around-my best friend big Jon called it "social lube"~i had to pause mentally for that one.
This social lube of mine is just how my thick skin breaths-I tell it like it is and pull no punches, if you can't take my verbal barrage of pseudo insults and random bulshit that streams forth from my head...well then you have no buisness being around my circle of influence. People who understand this, my mate included, are my closest friends-I tend to doormatt the rest. (see the doormat...thats as far as your comming in) I have yet to see the need to remove this armore I forged so long ago-I earned every rivet-carefully crafted by the meanest blacksmith walking the planet~me. I keep my fire hot with expieriances.
If your some sociopathic drama lord who gets ass wounded instantly over any little MLP joke overheard in a bathroom stall....Learn to take a fucking joke will ya? And understand if I don't include you in what ever activity I or my friends have going on~its nothing personal, we just want our space. I do treat some people the way that i do because THATS what they deserve...I'm a karmic balancer...I can take it, been doing it for decades.
Drink your hater-aid if i have blasted you back into reality in the past-if i have called you on your bullshit...and if i saw you standing on the edge of a bridge ready to Emo-out...why would you be surprised if I pushed you?
"Tyler had learned the secret to a happy life...to let shit which did not matter...truely slide."~Chuck
Palahniuk-Fight Club
A little montra that i use on occation to discibe any number of people or situations deemed worthy. I only wish more people, expecially furries, could adopt this in there lives. I'm older-I have a thick skin, both emotionally and physically, but i do bleed and I'm always shocked that its not black. Life has not always been kind-i was a micro geek in High school, un noticed by the girls-tanuted by others...even my own cousins who came from the chatholic school after eigth grade~so yeah, i put on the only armore i could forge.
I got sick of the bullshit-sick of no friends-sick of not being included~the brunt of jokes~others opinions...the list goes on.
Theres another saying a mentor of mine~an Eagle (not furry, but thats how i saw him) told me a long time ago, and wow does it ever hold true. "Get in where you fit in....and if your corners don't match find another hole." As funny as it sounded to me then, it holds so much more meaning now.
After he told me that, I began to look at things in a different light. Did i really want to be included in a clik or what the fuck ever it was at the time...that i had not an ounce common ground in? I was outside looking in, all I could see was what I "thought" was so appealing~only because I didnt have it. I was'nt invited-for obvious reasons-I see that now, but back then all I was allowing myself to know was rejection by proxy.
I was'nt alone, but could I see that? No. Fear of future rejection became my bed partner, and i was the bottom every time with no lube.
So I decided to say tit-fuck that noise and find my place outside of the norm...what did the "norm" ever do for me but make me contemplate going down the river, not across the street? And I have never looked back-why should I? People, furs and non furs alike, that i "have something" a certian appeal that others wish to emulate or just wanna be around-my best friend big Jon called it "social lube"~i had to pause mentally for that one.
This social lube of mine is just how my thick skin breaths-I tell it like it is and pull no punches, if you can't take my verbal barrage of pseudo insults and random bulshit that streams forth from my head...well then you have no buisness being around my circle of influence. People who understand this, my mate included, are my closest friends-I tend to doormatt the rest. (see the doormat...thats as far as your comming in) I have yet to see the need to remove this armore I forged so long ago-I earned every rivet-carefully crafted by the meanest blacksmith walking the planet~me. I keep my fire hot with expieriances.
If your some sociopathic drama lord who gets ass wounded instantly over any little MLP joke overheard in a bathroom stall....Learn to take a fucking joke will ya? And understand if I don't include you in what ever activity I or my friends have going on~its nothing personal, we just want our space. I do treat some people the way that i do because THATS what they deserve...I'm a karmic balancer...I can take it, been doing it for decades.
Drink your hater-aid if i have blasted you back into reality in the past-if i have called you on your bullshit...and if i saw you standing on the edge of a bridge ready to Emo-out...why would you be surprised if I pushed you?
"Tyler had learned the secret to a happy life...to let shit which did not matter...truely slide."~Chuck
Palahniuk-Fight Club
I always saw that people back then always made other people's lives miserable because of their own inadequacies. People still don't grow up, even after years and sometimes move backwards. I brush it off my shoulder and if it does bother me I say, "Never let them know you're hurt, never let them see you bleed." I'm more than they are in the sense of reality. Rub salt on a sunny side up egg doesn't hurt, just tastes better.
Nice journal, hun.
See why I like you so much?
Congrats on the anniversary too btw. <3
Wish I could have heard advice like that 10 years ago. Do people really give you crap for your "barrage of pseudo insults and random bullshit"? If anything, I'm looking forward to it.
Yes that social lube description, simplistic and hilarious as it is, fits very well to you man^^. It is infectious, in a good way. When someone can help people breathe in some life, feel the simple yet awesome energy of things just being well, just chill, mellows non harshed, happy as all get out-had, I mean seriously, why would someone hate on that?
You gotta get the fuck out and experience it to understand. It's not like people are trying to war on the sad per se. The two plains of reality (Happy World, Depressed World) exist so closely, yet so far apart, go figure. There's some of that balance you were talking of. We've all had it, experienced it on our own or via others like you, at some point in our life, so even if someone's stuck in Sadtown, it's not impossible for them to recall what the good is like. Just gotta hop your ass over on the other side of the traintracks once and awhile. Vs. standing on them waiting for that irreversable train to oblivion.
I get all fucked up with the sad once and awhile, it's a fucked up symbiotic relationship of sorts. But when I can get into that good mode, get out, get around good people, enjoy their presence, energies and just the good things in life, simple things too, nothign major, among other things, that's my fucking medicine yo.
I'm sure it sounds confusing as heck but just know I'm agreeing with you and I think what your talking about is a major part of growing up and most people seem to avoid that step somewhere along the way. Seeking nothing but other people to pat them on the back for something they enjoy and feel guilty for, or you get the sort of people who always edit themselves to fit in with a click not realizing they lessen themselves for it. Positioning for the affection and affirmation of their peers to make themselves feel important or like they have any value.
I'm not sure where else I could go with this but I'm sure everyone gets the picture and I'm sure everyone's favorite Skunkubus can elaborate and clarify and probably even say much more then I'd have to add. She's well traveled.
Thanks a lot Oki its lovely to be able to rent the spare roommate from ya. Just wish I could go out hunting with you some more mornings then I do.
try running a con with both staff and attendees like this. It is bad enough to just be a part of the fandom but working for it. Eck.
If this post was actually a response to MLP issues, I have a semi-opinion on it. Do I watch MLP? Nope. Not because I dislike it, but it has not so far won the Darwinian struggle for my time and attention. I'm similarly agnostic on Harry Potter, Tolkein, pirates, zombies, vampires, and thirty years of video games; I know they're out there, that they have appealing qualities, and that they have rabid fans, but I simply haven't gotten around to them. I don't know how much I might like them, but I'm preoccupied with things which definitely do interest me (or, in the case of RL issues, annoy the hell out of me).
I've seen enough MLP to know that I would absolutely LOVE to be involved with the production team. It's very smartly done, and I know I'd need to bring my very best game in that environment. I'd leave that on my resume for the rest of my life. I don't think this is going to happen, for good and various reasons, but that's still how I feel.
As for "haters"... There are people who are paid to be potential haters of every creative endeavor which exists. These people are called critics. Some of them make a very good living at it. Their job is to pull things apart. They will definitely find weaknesses; with any luck, they will also find strengths. Every movie, TV show, album, etc. which exists was criticized upon its release, and even the timeless classics once endured a harsh criticism or two or twenty.
I'll be facing critics myself in May. Time to work on my own thick skin!
Wise words, my friend.
I always take your words to heart, and I think this is something I needed to hear.
Well.. I don't think it was a coincidence that I ended up in your cabin that wild nights. I only knew one other person there.
I'm glad things turned out the way they did. It's been awesome, and there is much more to come!
You, sir, have a wonderful way of laughing at things without
sounding pompous. The world could use more of that.