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When we question life...
13 years ago
There is nothing more terrible or wonderful than life itself. Through it, we can experience all of the greatest joys and pleasures known to man... and just as easily suffer it's cruelest fate. I like to believe for most of us, despite our short comings and trials in life, we have it pretty good. There are too many good things to be had in life to let the bad stand in our way. Even less of a reason to just up and end it all.
That is not to say that I can't relate with being pitted against a horrible past, loneliness, heart break, uncontrollable feelings, feelings of abandonment and the nagging feeling that everything you've done was for nothing and that you're just spinning your tires. But still, I don't think I could bring myself to ending my own life. There is too much worth fighting for.
Yet still, there are those around me that I have, and still do, look up to that have found themselves at that edge of that choice. Beautiful, wonderful, gifted people, confiding into that they have considered it or have even gone as far as deciding how they would do it. Despite my composure or well constructed words... I don't think anyone involved really could grasp the gravity of just how much that reality hurt me, or just how much of a mournful impact it would have cast upon me.
Thankfully, through a comforting conversation or other means outside of my control, no such act took place. But I mean, there has been more than just one person I've talked with about this... It perplexes me that I've come across this as much as I have, and in such a short period of time on top of that. I guess that really I'm just glad I was able to help in some way and give some support.
I won't say who or how many, or even if they're in the fandom or not. Privacy like that should be respected.
I dunno... if I even should be talking about this, but the thought of it all has been weighing on my heart and mind. Has anyone else been experiencing anything like this? What could be causing it all? Besides just offering a a shoulder and a helping hand, is there anything we can do?
That is not to say that I can't relate with being pitted against a horrible past, loneliness, heart break, uncontrollable feelings, feelings of abandonment and the nagging feeling that everything you've done was for nothing and that you're just spinning your tires. But still, I don't think I could bring myself to ending my own life. There is too much worth fighting for.
Yet still, there are those around me that I have, and still do, look up to that have found themselves at that edge of that choice. Beautiful, wonderful, gifted people, confiding into that they have considered it or have even gone as far as deciding how they would do it. Despite my composure or well constructed words... I don't think anyone involved really could grasp the gravity of just how much that reality hurt me, or just how much of a mournful impact it would have cast upon me.
Thankfully, through a comforting conversation or other means outside of my control, no such act took place. But I mean, there has been more than just one person I've talked with about this... It perplexes me that I've come across this as much as I have, and in such a short period of time on top of that. I guess that really I'm just glad I was able to help in some way and give some support.
I won't say who or how many, or even if they're in the fandom or not. Privacy like that should be respected.
I dunno... if I even should be talking about this, but the thought of it all has been weighing on my heart and mind. Has anyone else been experiencing anything like this? What could be causing it all? Besides just offering a a shoulder and a helping hand, is there anything we can do?
But I'm sorry to hear about your struggle and long pursuit. I only hope the very best for you.