What color are your underwear/panties?
At the moment, green.

Do they have a design?
Plaid.

Girls, what color is your bra?
-

Is there a design?
-

What color are your socks?
Light brown.

Is there a design on them?
The weave is intended to suggest stripes.

Are you a virgin?
I'm a married man. What do you think? ಠ_ಠ

Happy that way?
Definitely. My wife is my favorite woman in the world. I don't regret losing my virginity (with another boy) many years before, though.

What is your favorite sex position?
Cowgirl.

What is your sexuality/sexual orientation/What the fuck do you consider yourself?
I would say I am bisexual except that doesn't quite cover it. I don't devote a lot of thought to it.

Do you look at hentai?
Yes

Real porn?
Yes

Do you read smutty/porn stories?
Yes.

Do you read/watch/look at gay porn/hentai/stories?
Yes

Who was your first kiss with?
Tova (who happens to have the same name as my mother's adopted name... kind of odd)

Are they of the opposite sex?
Yes

Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
My first time having sex was with another boy.

Is there any one of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?
Apart from my wife, yes, there IS one, but I would have to get my wife's permission first. Sooooo... probably not happening.

Do you have any piercings other than your ears?
No. Not even there.

Do you have any tattoos?
No. Not only am I not interested, I am not allowed to for religious reasons. (A joke: a man goes to his rabbi and says, "I want to get a tattoo, but what should it say?" The rabbi thinks for a while, and finally says, "Get one on your shoulder that says 'heresy'.")

Have you ever been pregnant/got a girl pregnant?
Yes, a few years before I met my wife.

Ever done any illegal drugs?
I've used illegal drugs and I've used legal drugs illegally, yes.

If so, which ones?
Marijuana, alcohol (both in typical drinks and as laboratory-pure EtOH), oral opiates. I've also had enough caffeine to start hallucinating, and found that fluoroquinolone antibiotics also act as hallucinogens for me. I hate all that stuff, though - tried it and rejected it. I prefer sobriety. (Well, coffee is still god-tier.)

Have you ever cheated on someone?
Not in a physically intimate relationship, no.

Ever been cheated on?
It's not cheating if I say it's okay, is it? But it wasn't a physically intimate relationship, so... (not my wife obviously)

Have you ever been called a whore/slut?
Yes, my wife calls me her favorite man-whore. My best male friend also calls me "you whore" sometimes, but also in an affectionate way.

Do you own any sex toys?
A few, yes.

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy involving a relative?
Yes, a lady cousin... do cousins count? Of course they do. In my defense, she's really cute.

Have you ever masturbated?
If you get to be older than sixteen without masturbating, you probably have the libido of a rock. Even babies masturbate.

Have you ever taken a naked picture of yourself?
No. My wife took one of me though.

Have you ever taken a naked picture of someone else?
Not naked as such, no. Under-dressed, certainly.

Are you on any form of birth control (the pill, the patch, etc)?
No, we're trying to form babby.

Have you ever written/drawn smut/porn?
Of course.

Do you swear in front of your parents?
Not usually, although I learned to swear from my mother.

Do they care?
Yes, they do.

Are you uncomfortable yet?
Only slightly.

Are you taking this quiz of your own free will?
Yes.