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Negativity
13 years ago
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Why is it that being intelligent, being intellectual, or simply avoiding stupidity comes across as being negative?
Better yet, why is it that acting stupid is applauded?
Is tolerating stupidity just a part of dealing with other people? Did I miss a class when I was young where they taught us all that stupidity isn't a thing to be avoided? I clearly don't understand this. I apparently drive people away this way. People think I'm an asshole. People think I'm negative. I'm not, I swear I'm not. Still, people keep dropping out of my life for reasons that are a complete mystery to me.
I crave conversation. I don't need a shoulder to lean on, I don't need someone to listen to me, I don't need someone to talk to, I don't need to listen to someone. I need conversation. Discourse, an exchange of ideas, back and forth. It doesn't need to be about anything specific. Fuck, it doesn't even have to be about anything important, or even interesting. I need something, anything. Of late, I've had none of this.
For those of you who don't already know, I've been going to therapy for various reasons for a while. During my last session, I was told that it'd probably be a good idea if I went back on anti-depressants. Life hasn't been treating me very well lately, and I've been on a self-destructive streak for a while, including harming myself and doing things that are out of character for me and potentially harmful. More importantly, I've also been taking it out on the people around me. I know I get moody, and I doubly know that I'm pretty bad at dealing with that. I don't want to push people away, so I'm going to do my best to stay as positive as I can without acting like a complete moron.
Please, please, please tell me if I've made you upset or angry with me and why/how, especially from here on out. I can't learn from my mistakes if I don't know what they are.
If you would like, I have a couple of ways to chat with me outside of IRC. I would like it very much if some people would chose to come talk with me. Ask, and thou shalt receive.
Better yet, why is it that acting stupid is applauded?
Is tolerating stupidity just a part of dealing with other people? Did I miss a class when I was young where they taught us all that stupidity isn't a thing to be avoided? I clearly don't understand this. I apparently drive people away this way. People think I'm an asshole. People think I'm negative. I'm not, I swear I'm not. Still, people keep dropping out of my life for reasons that are a complete mystery to me.
I crave conversation. I don't need a shoulder to lean on, I don't need someone to listen to me, I don't need someone to talk to, I don't need to listen to someone. I need conversation. Discourse, an exchange of ideas, back and forth. It doesn't need to be about anything specific. Fuck, it doesn't even have to be about anything important, or even interesting. I need something, anything. Of late, I've had none of this.
For those of you who don't already know, I've been going to therapy for various reasons for a while. During my last session, I was told that it'd probably be a good idea if I went back on anti-depressants. Life hasn't been treating me very well lately, and I've been on a self-destructive streak for a while, including harming myself and doing things that are out of character for me and potentially harmful. More importantly, I've also been taking it out on the people around me. I know I get moody, and I doubly know that I'm pretty bad at dealing with that. I don't want to push people away, so I'm going to do my best to stay as positive as I can without acting like a complete moron.
Please, please, please tell me if I've made you upset or angry with me and why/how, especially from here on out. I can't learn from my mistakes if I don't know what they are.
If you would like, I have a couple of ways to chat with me outside of IRC. I would like it very much if some people would chose to come talk with me. Ask, and thou shalt receive.
You did nothing wrong in my case. I am just a sentimental fool with shoddy logic.