Well I have been sort of away from FA for about a month, first because of how hard I was working in my Joe Murray class. The second class has just started and I am working hard in that one. Everyone so far in this community has been so great, and supportive of me. I have made so many wonderful friends, and as soon as my class is over I intend to reopen for commissions and continue to grow my gallery and get to know more of you all. I will finish the few commissions that are in que as well. I started to dabble at them when I feel blocked from working on my Joe Murray class stuff.

Sadly, for the past few weeks I haven't had the strength to do art, or to do much of anything.. My boyfriend, the love of my life, who has been with me for 5 years, and lived with me for 4, broke up with me a few weeks ago. I don't want to get into too much detail here, because it's not fair to him, and I shouldn't just broadcast our personal lives on a public forum. However, I will say it has been the most painful thing I have ever been through. I still love him with all my heart, and I know he appreciates all I have done for him. He is hopefully going to finally be able to get his teeth fixed soon, and I believe I will still be there with him for that. Since he took his new job, things have been rocky. He moved out thinking that having some space, and being able to feel like he is not relying on me would help our relationship. However, after that things sort of imploded.

I was so heartbroken I couldn't sleep, eat, or do anything for about two weeks. I also couldn't do any art, and fell badly behind on my storyboard for the first Joe Murray class. I was so terrified that I blew one of my biggest opportunities. Joe was even talking agents with me, and how I should get one to pitch this idea I have. Luckily he was MORE than supportive, (having been through two divorces himself) and was fine with giving me the time I needed to grieve. At the time, I didn't even have the heart to come on here and tell anyone what happened, because of how supportive everyone has been, and in awe of our loving relationship. It was a wonderful relationship and we were both happy together for a long time. I guess sometimes things just happen. I have no control over the situation which make this the hardest. I am a "doer" I like to fix things, and be able to know what I can do better. I do hope to get another chance someday with him. I truly believe he is my soul mate, but its like that saying, "If you love someone let them go, and if they come back it was meant to be." So for now that is what I must do. I am loving him. Doing my best to give him his space, but still being here if I can. It has just been so hard, and I miss him so much. I feel like a part of me has died, or is gone. I must now pick up the pieces and relearn who I am without him. I think about him all the time, which is painful. I feel in my heart of hearts that I will never find a man that is as close, as everything I have looked for in a man, as him. I do know that i must not think that way, and for now I am not meant to be with anyone else. He and I have made a pact that we have six months of space and can do whatever we need to, and in six months we will try and reevaluate and see if the relationship is worth pursuing. I know where i stand, but the ball is in his court and there is nothing I can say or do to make him change his mind. So I must just wait. I felt I needed to share this with all of you.

You have all been so nice and supportive. Some of you that have come to my earlier streams even chatted with him a bit, when he actually came a couple of times. I just wanted to share with you all what is going on in my life, and thank you all for being so kind, and wonderful. I hope to livestream with you again soon. Its helpful to be able to talk to friends.

-Shottsy