I feel like I can't do it....

I'm failing my first time of college, and it's my fault. The times I skipped my classes to be with friends or cause I was tired.....I'm failing and it's all my fault...I have no job....it's difficult for me to ask for applications and then keep coming back and checking on the status of it...and I can't help but think how long will I be able to hold it....

I'm scared...I'm having a meeting with my Mom and Dad this saturday....I'm scared that they will throw me out on the street....I'm begging that it won't come to that, but I know there's a possibility of it...I just wanna run away, but I know it won't help anything.

I feel like it's only a matter of time now before the part of me that keeps me here cause I don't wanna hurt my friends/family is gonna disappear, and I'm scared that I'll make a mistake that'll hurt everyone I care about...

I know I need help...but everytime anyone's tried to offer me help, I end up snapping at them and refusing it.....maybe I'm stubborn, or scared cause it'll make me look weak....I really need help.....I'll try and ask for it.....even if I start to want to run, I'll remind myself I need it....




I'm scared.......please.....help me.....