its tough to make any living with commissions. I wish I could hire you for a lot of them but I have had financial limits on my disposable income all year other then texas furry fiesta and the upcoming Anthrocon.

I definitely understand that. Seems like everyone's broke now a days.

That's why I was garnering hope on being able to get a career as a staff illustrator or concept artist, but my work has never stood had a chance so far. So, now I am just kind of here, existing from day to day, drawing these rodents and bugs with small human tools in hope that the concept and execution is enough to put me where I want to go, instead of being on the verge of breaking down most days.

you got to do what you got to do to pay the bills. there is no shame in drawing as a hobby. your art is quite good enough to pay for.

The thing is that I have amassed a $45,000 debt towards art so it makes me queasy to think of it other than a profession or become a colossal failure in doing so. Hell,right now i cot pay for loans because I make so little.

well in extreme circumstances debts can be forgiven. still if you learned skills then no training is a waste it is just waiting an opportunity to be used

The opportunity is surely slipping from my grasp. I can only want to get something before that 5 year period ends.

I have a bunch of drawings hanging on my wall that other people drew. A roommate of mine just a moment ago noticed them, not, I think, realizing that I didn't make them. He specifically singled out your drawing of the elpse hitting a bow tie cretin with a golf club as being worthy of praise (it is immediately beside a drawing a friend commissioned on my behalf from the influential Mary Mouse).
You may need to expand your audience... I don't know where else you post things apart from here and the deviant art, but the roommate doesn't look at either of these sites, nor do most people I know, I suspect. They almost never know or care that I have done anything unless I post it on guh facebook for them. Yet any place you can find that wants art, I say try and give them some (if you haven't done so already). Sometimes they want money to host you, of course, but not all do. Having something really big or on a canvas is probably a big help. Now that I have paintings, it is much easier to show them off, or to get people to notice them before I have shown them off, or to justify paying to have them shown. I assume those are more likely to be bought. And yet you have just now been noticed across a room through a relatively small pencil drawing on a piece of paper. It must be good for something.
I never understood how the mechanics of popularity worked on these sites... I had the benefit of having my icon displayed on the page of someone far more popular than I was or am for a year or so. That's all long gone and I'd say half my exposure went with it. It's a fickle, stupid thing. I probably put more faith in it than I should. I can't fault you for feeling the same way.

I don't think that I want the popularity now. Have accepted the fact that I am most certainly will not be the flavor of any month, now. All I want is to get a start on a career. I probably can and will have something that actually exists sometime this year though. I tend to put myself out to some of the more harsh sites out there because they cannot really hurt me like I have hurt myself, so, yeah.

Now that I think of it, are you still offering the commissions, or did you dislike the process?

I pretty much need to focus on these two projects that I am doing. It's something I would like to show to people once I ever get done.