So I've made my decision I am going to start school full time in the fall, no more of this half time bullcrap. And currently I am not making enough money to continue to stay living with my mommy. So outside funds from my job is what I am looking at. I have a weekend thingy I can do now and again for a friend for some money but otherwise not much.

Living on 9$ an hour is a pain in the ass. I mean if I didn't have a car to pay off and costly insurance for it and a expensive cell phone it would be more livable. I fully understand these are all luxuries and not necessities. The phone I am soon to change, the car well I am a bit stuck with for now as selling it currently would net me very little money, but in 6 to 9 months it would be more feasible. So for now I'm not sure what's gonna happen till the fall. I really don't want to move back in with my parents because for one I simply am not Mormon anymore I'm just not. I respect their beliefs because I know they are completely good hearted people just trying to make the world a better place, if they need a religious belief to centralize those ideals thats fine by me. But my father may try and force me to go back to church which is a place I do not particularly want to go often or a fight I want to have with him. And secondly my parents are aware of my little side but have been rarely every supportive or even neutral for that matter. Part of me fears they would make that and issue but another part of me thinks they would leave it at a don't ask don't tell situation.

But really I just don't want to leave the amazing little world I live in at my Mommy and Sean's house. Its awesome and everything I could ever ever want from a little and mommy relationship. They are wonderful people who just love to have a good time and make the people around them happy. I love having discussions and arguments with them, they are very good at it but I think I hold my own rather well 9 times out of ten. So I am just trying to get some of these thoughts and emotions outside of my head so it doesn't explode. I know in the past I have not been one to use my journals for personal stuff but hey I have just as much right as anyone. I'm glad I have as much support as I do as I know I won't end up in the street no matter what happens which is a huge huge plus in my life and something I cannot express how happy I am to have that safety net.

And Last but not least I am not sure what 4 year degree I should get now, as I have lately found out it doesnt matter which I get much in respect to going to med school just as long as I take the needed pre med stuff. So I am considering lots of things. Biology, Physics, Astrology, Theoretical Astrophysics (ideally the coolest but not so sure what job it could give plus likely really hard). Not sure, I'll keep everyone posted on what I am doing.