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I know you can't plan for everything...
13 years ago
General
Maybe I'm worried over nothing. I feel like even after I get a comp sci job, I am never going to make enough money to enjoy things like a con. I firmly refuse to even use a credit card. I have a debit card, but the money is there when I use it, so I don't worry about much more than that. It will take me some time to afford a house with all my other bills, but am I being irrational by saying that I don't even want a credit card?
I must admit I have had a nice life up to this point, I haven't wanted for much. Yet, I spend frugally and it amazes me how other people can spend so freely on things like art and badges. It probably is a paranoid side of me, but it seems like unexpected things can always creep up. Not only that but when I do feel the urge to spend freely, I get horrified by how easily it adds up.
I am hoping for a job over the summer. I guess you could say I'm struggling with a sense of validation. I've had to work multiple jobs over the past years from factory work to customer service. Those are all fine and dandy, but I feel like until I get an internship I'm not...well...Im not an actual computer scientist. If I'm not good enough for a position evidently there is still something I am doing wrong or I don't have enough experience. Maybe I'm beating myself up too much, but I just worry that there is always something more I can be doing.
I undersand the whole saying "save when you're young". I guess I just feel some weird feeling of anxiety mixed with perplexing questions in my head. Is there a point in life where you can finally get ahead? How long does one have to wait while paying their dues?
I shouldn't view school as being so daunting at times. I know the teachers main jobs are to make sure we know our materials, but sometimes it feels like I have to be perfect. That I feel like even getting B's on tests are going to hurt me later because my major isn't an easy subject. How have I been blessed with the ability to understand complicated subjects like recursion and graph theory (that's different than topics dealing with Cartesian planes; think Dijkstra's Algorithm).
I guess my thoughts are atrophying into randomness at this hour so I am done ranting. Once I' think of something else I'll post. Until then toodles, folks!
I must admit I have had a nice life up to this point, I haven't wanted for much. Yet, I spend frugally and it amazes me how other people can spend so freely on things like art and badges. It probably is a paranoid side of me, but it seems like unexpected things can always creep up. Not only that but when I do feel the urge to spend freely, I get horrified by how easily it adds up.
I am hoping for a job over the summer. I guess you could say I'm struggling with a sense of validation. I've had to work multiple jobs over the past years from factory work to customer service. Those are all fine and dandy, but I feel like until I get an internship I'm not...well...Im not an actual computer scientist. If I'm not good enough for a position evidently there is still something I am doing wrong or I don't have enough experience. Maybe I'm beating myself up too much, but I just worry that there is always something more I can be doing.
I undersand the whole saying "save when you're young". I guess I just feel some weird feeling of anxiety mixed with perplexing questions in my head. Is there a point in life where you can finally get ahead? How long does one have to wait while paying their dues?
I shouldn't view school as being so daunting at times. I know the teachers main jobs are to make sure we know our materials, but sometimes it feels like I have to be perfect. That I feel like even getting B's on tests are going to hurt me later because my major isn't an easy subject. How have I been blessed with the ability to understand complicated subjects like recursion and graph theory (that's different than topics dealing with Cartesian planes; think Dijkstra's Algorithm).
I guess my thoughts are atrophying into randomness at this hour so I am done ranting. Once I' think of something else I'll post. Until then toodles, folks!
It may be a tough market, but I'll bet you get an internship somewhere, even if you have to apply out-of-state. Experience is experience.
Finally, I firmly believe that the definition of a furfan does not include how he spends his discretionary income. Some furs commission a lot of art, others choose to save or to spend on other things. Doesn't make one any furrier than the other. There's room for everyone. At least that's the Fandom I believe in.
Stay frosty :D