Also known as, the value of loyalty.

So, for a long time, I've been around FA, and seen many people put in a list of friends, and so many times I see them say "If you mess with my friends and loved ones, you mess with me" or something along those lines. And I'd read it, and It'd make me feel lonely. And I never really knew why.. Until today when I was going to connect a good friend of mine with someone that she had things in common with... But the person had been a dick to me in the past. The friend, declined the offer and sent me a private message saying "I wouldn't want to talk to someone who was an asshole to you just because we have something in common." (BTW, to the friend who said that and will defiantly read this, I made this vague because it was private, and you don't need to make it unprivate if you don't want to). But that's when it finally clicked in my head.

So, people who have known me for a long time, know that if someone has wronged me, I get a bit emotional when a close friend of mine becomes friends with them. Now, I'm not talking simple disagreements, Usually it's serious wronging. Well "Serious" not so much involving injury, death or harassment.... But I would get all chastised for making people choose and what not. But.. now I have figured out why it bothers me so.

It's disloyal. If someone wrongs me, I want people close to be my backup.. or my pack/family. But when you meet someone, know what they did to me, as your friend, and feel I'm wrong for discouraging you to be together, it sends me a message. At the least, it says you just have no loyalty towards me, or feel that we are equal in level of friendship. At worst, in my mind, it communicates that you support this person's actions.And in many of these situations, it's someone who is supposed to be very close to me.. including Mates and pets.

Now, I've been on the bad side of that, Piss off one person in a group of close friends, and either they come down on me, or all turn their backs on me. But, You know, i expect it. And it's not Just a furry thing, it's a Non furry way to act too. And when a friend does it, to me.. where they continue developing a friendship with a person who has wrong me, it just makes me value them less.. Because it shows I can't count on them. Cause 9/10 they "don't want to be in the middle of drama" so, if person is bad mouthing me, they just brush it off and not say anything either way.

Are there exceptions? Yeah. If it's a long time friend of theirs.. No.. I don't expect them to break off cause the new friend says bad things. And if it's clear that we are on equal ground to that friend, no. But if you've crossed into the zone where you are a pet, mate, or Close friend, and newer person comes in.. better believe I expect loyalty. I would do the same for you.