I want to write something like this...
13 years ago
General
Warning: The story which I will link to contains humiliation and growth, and is so well written that it won't get out of your mind. Best read this before sleeping so you have a chance to be rid of it the next morning and you won't be stuck with it all day long.
http://www.lpsg.org/298445-theyre-g.....obsession.html
Wow. Seriously wow. I get queasy when I think back to it because it is so powerful. I gotta write a story like this!
I just need to figure out the key elements so I can build my own story using that, and end up with something at least half as enticing.
http://www.lpsg.org/298445-theyre-g.....obsession.html
Wow. Seriously wow. I get queasy when I think back to it because it is so powerful. I gotta write a story like this!
I just need to figure out the key elements so I can build my own story using that, and end up with something at least half as enticing.
FA+

Hmm, to be honest I think you write way more consistent stories than that. Speaking from a normal reader's perspective, there are some awkward transitions, inconsistencies, and elements that randomly hop around. It looks like a long forum post, so maybe the author didn't structure it as well as they would normally would, who knows