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A bit of an explanation
13 years ago
Current avatar by 
tavimunk
tavimunk Last journal, where I mentioned in my honesty list that I want to be disabled, made a few people (understandably) uneasy with me. It may or may not help, but I want to attempt to explain it a bit more thoroughly. It will also help me, because this is a thought I've been meaning to explore more even with myself.
Ever since I was young, I was always drawn to cartoon characters on TV who are in wheelchairs, or have casts, or some other 'difference'. I didn't understand why, but when I was young I always used to say how I wanted to break my leg, or be in a wheelchair. I actually have broken my knee before, and while I wasn't in a wheelchair, I liked having the brace on.
Then, earlier this year, I saw an episode of the show "Taboo" where there was a woman who pretended to be paraplegic, and rode around in a wheelchair. She said she had a mental condition called Body Identity Integrity Disorder. When I saw that, it kind of reminded me of some of the things I did when I was little.
This likely seems really odd to a lot of people, especially considering a lot of people in the furry community are actually disabled. How could anyone with a perfectly healthy body, want to hurt themselves like that? Some people compare it to Gender Identity Disorder (basically the psychological term for being transgender), but even that's not an exact comparison. One I thought of was how, in the babyfur/diaper community, there are people who want to be incontinent. Some even take measures to make themselves become incontinent, but if they ever actually talked to someone who really is, and doesn't have any sort of diaper fetish, they'd probably be talked out of it.
That's pretty much the case here. For the people who would hurt themselves to be disabled, people would probably be disgusted at the idea. Personally, even I would as well, but for whatever reason, some people's brains just keep telling them they should be disabled. Why? No one knows. Therapy? Maybe, but therapy that attempts to make you think a different way than you do can do more harm than good, so it's no real surprise why some people don't like that option.
For me, though, the idea is completely fantasy. I don't wish to actually be disabled, just fantasize about it at times, but I know that if it really happened, the fun would likely be taken out of it. I might enjoy it more than most people would, but not being able to walk would suck after a few weeks. Our body's ability to do certain things is precious, and sometimes we take it for granted.
This is getting long, and I think I've covered everything, so I'll stop here.
TL/DR; My desire to be disabled is pretty much fantasy, and I have no intention of changing that.
Ever since I was young, I was always drawn to cartoon characters on TV who are in wheelchairs, or have casts, or some other 'difference'. I didn't understand why, but when I was young I always used to say how I wanted to break my leg, or be in a wheelchair. I actually have broken my knee before, and while I wasn't in a wheelchair, I liked having the brace on.
Then, earlier this year, I saw an episode of the show "Taboo" where there was a woman who pretended to be paraplegic, and rode around in a wheelchair. She said she had a mental condition called Body Identity Integrity Disorder. When I saw that, it kind of reminded me of some of the things I did when I was little.
This likely seems really odd to a lot of people, especially considering a lot of people in the furry community are actually disabled. How could anyone with a perfectly healthy body, want to hurt themselves like that? Some people compare it to Gender Identity Disorder (basically the psychological term for being transgender), but even that's not an exact comparison. One I thought of was how, in the babyfur/diaper community, there are people who want to be incontinent. Some even take measures to make themselves become incontinent, but if they ever actually talked to someone who really is, and doesn't have any sort of diaper fetish, they'd probably be talked out of it.
That's pretty much the case here. For the people who would hurt themselves to be disabled, people would probably be disgusted at the idea. Personally, even I would as well, but for whatever reason, some people's brains just keep telling them they should be disabled. Why? No one knows. Therapy? Maybe, but therapy that attempts to make you think a different way than you do can do more harm than good, so it's no real surprise why some people don't like that option.
For me, though, the idea is completely fantasy. I don't wish to actually be disabled, just fantasize about it at times, but I know that if it really happened, the fun would likely be taken out of it. I might enjoy it more than most people would, but not being able to walk would suck after a few weeks. Our body's ability to do certain things is precious, and sometimes we take it for granted.
This is getting long, and I think I've covered everything, so I'll stop here.
TL/DR; My desire to be disabled is pretty much fantasy, and I have no intention of changing that.
this could sorta be a form of wanting to be disabled i guess. but when i was really little i became obsessed with glasses and wanted to have bad eye sight so that i could wear glasses like my grandma and some others around me did. well in fourth grade i got my wish and was super excited. ^^
funny cuz i had play glasses before that. but they just didnt feel as fun.
also i like butter. i dunno why. but i have this strange obsession with it, and sometimes i crave it so much i will eat a spoonfull of it. or put it on things it doesnt normally go on like cheese slices, tortilla chips, spaghettios and chocolate cake.
Odd. I have an obsession with salt. Sometimes I'll put a little on my hands and eat it straight, and when I'm salting things I'll put a little more than most people would.