I just went to my first BDSM event last Friday. I enjoyed the hell out of it. I learned so much stuff in one evening, it was incredible. A little never-wracking, and I'm never good at meeting new people, but everyone was really nice. I don't know why this surprised me so much. Once person who was giving a demonstration even gave me some really good advice, which was to find my thing. Something to make me stand out. Something that makes people go 'Oh yeah, that guy! That guy is great! You don't know the guy? Let me introduce you, etc etc.). And I think I figured it out.

There's been an odd increase in circus themed work in my archive the past couple of years. I love clowns, ever since I started seeing cute clown girls. I think there was some knowledge of this beforehand, but I didn't really get interested until recently. But shortly after I was told to find my thing, all I could think of was clowns. Surprisingly, not even a scary clown given my affinity for zombies and monsters, just a rather happy clown.

I know myself. I'm not cool, I'm not suave, I'm not sexy. I'm a geeky art nerd who loves to laugh, sing and act silly. That's when I'm happiest. I've even been called a clown by some of my friends and always called myself a class clown. Maybe that's what I need to do, just give into it. Work my strengths, because me trying to be clever and charming always comes off forced and ridiculous. I'm more comfortable doing bad impressions and cracking horrible puns. Hell, all I lacked was the grease paint and floppy shoes anyway.

So you'll probably be seeing more clown stuff soon. I think I have a basic idea of what make-up I want and the outfit style, but I may need more. I'll eventually want a costume, but for now I'll work on my face and really getting in touch with my inner clown. I hope that won't freak anyone out.

And if anyone does the BDSM thing in the DC area, you might just see a clown walking into one of the clubs a few months from now. If so, feel free to say hi, I don't bite. Scary clowns are so last season.