(I'm not a huge fan of emotionally fueled journals about relationships. That's why this one is going to be about them in general, and not just about me. But it applies, really hard right now.)

Companionship.

It's something most of us a human beings strive for (We're all fucking humans, you faggots). I have never really felt the need to have a significant other in my life, mostly due to the fact that I feel the time will come when the right person WILL come along for you. It's the way the balance of nature works.

As of late, I've noticed that I've had my attractions towards people. I've found myself wondering what it would be like to be with a person. To be by their side, to be able to call them the other half of my life. As of late, I've been wanting somebody to fill that role that I didn't ever think I was searching for.

I don't know if it's the bisexuality being all bipolar or what... but I've more recently been wanting to get with a dude. I want to have somebody to hang out with, to hold hands with, to sleep next to at night... it's the little things that I see far too often, and don't get to experience.

I've also been rather self-conscious as of late. I'm constantly worrying about my appearance and if people will like me for what I am. It's eating away at me. My life has been going fairly steady as of late, and I'm still trying to work a lot of things out, but I just want something secure. I want a man that will give me the time of day. A man that will treat me like I'm the guy he wants to be around. The guy who likes who I am, no matter how ridiculous I may be.

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I don't know, guys. Maybe I'm trying too hard. Most of the gay dudes in this town either sleep around way too much to be stable, or don't give me the time of day. I don't know what to do bros. I'm totally clueless in the entire dating scene.