I'm lonely... I'm surrounded by all sorts of new and great friends, and everyone wants to be around me, but... I still want something. I want to love and be loved. No false pretenses. I want to love someone who will love me back, and not be afraid to say it or show it. I want someone to hold. And not just the way friends interact, or cuddle buddies. I long to feel the way i did when love was new. When I wasn't constantly anxious about the day it would end, or leave. When I could sit in someone's arms and feel them all around me, holding me, as if their life depended on pulling me just a little closer... God, I sound like such a sap... This post it really stupid... What am I doing? What am I waiting for? No... I'm not waiting, I'm bitter, and cynical. I refuse to believe anyone could like me for me, and want to hang out with me, so i assume everyone wants something from me. What are they trying to get from me? God, I probably sound emo, but jesus...

TO all of you who think I should be able to be happy on my own before I get into a relationship or whatever psycho babble you keep telling me; I have this to say:
I can be happy while being alone. I am, generally pretty happy, and have been for the past few months, even though I have been single. But I don't, for one second, believe that you can't feel sad that you are lacking a significant other. I think it's normal, especially after you've been through long term relationships, to want something like that in your life again. Yeah, I spend a lot of time thinking and talking about trying to get an SO, but, why the fuck is that a problem? It's not like I'm sad ALL the time because I don't have someone, and it's not like I'm so desperate I'll go with anyone who asks either. So where is the problem? Why do you think it's my problem that I'm lonely? It's normal god damnit!

I know I am an amorous person. I know that love is a high priority in my life, not not my highest, that's ridiculous, but it's still important to me. And i don't see a fault in that. Why do you?


Jesus, I know I'm going to wake up tomorrow and feel better. Seriously, this isn't something ever present in my life. I was just... reminded of how it was, and was feeling like shit, so I'm venting. Don't worry, this is just a temporary sadness.



And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling
I am fading
I have lost it all

And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame that I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
And you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling
I am fading
I am drowning, help me to breathe
I am hurting
I have lost it all
I am losing, help me to breathe...