yeah.. it's true.. life sucks ... as always..
of course ... life is not looking through pink tinted glasses... but sometimes it makes you wonder.. like.. "why the hell does this happen to me!?" ...

so.. what's happening to me? ... many things.. rly.. fucking many things at the same time... most of them are personal things that i will not discuss here.. and.. with this problems.. there are mental issues not far away... they make you think things like... "why must he go right now.. couldn't he have waited for another two or three more years?" .. or "if i see this douche again.. i will rip off his fucking head and take a shit in his neck!" ... and "what have i done.. why didn't i came back when he needed me.. why did i not helped him.." .. so you lay every evening in your bed.. thinking about things like that.. and you can't sleep at all... especially when you only have 3 or 5 hours of sleep for the whole night.. cause you are working at two jobs at the same time.. which stresses you more and more out... leaving your friends on the road.. cause you don't have any time at all for them... just leaves you an hour a day to go online and checking your mails.. and to be in contact with your friends... if you can...
And the more you work... you are coming to a point where you think... "fuck it.. i don't even see one bug from my pay... just enough to live from one day to another" ... and that's where you break down...
but what can you do... you don't have a choice.. you have to do it.. you have to live with it.. you have to live throuh it..

you can't change your past.. or your fate..

... till the next update.. eventually...