Sor far this is the hardest review I've had to write. Due to set backs with art projects and having to deal with a movie that has no real clear guidance of analysis it has been, for lack of a better word, stressful. Also I didn't have the luxery of my editor so forgive me if this review seems stupider than usual. I may get it edited later, but for now I have to deal with Battleship so I'm gonna post it anyways.

As Always tell me what you think of the movie and the review in the comments below! And I know you will cause you're cool! ;D

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Dark Shadows
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Running from the late 1960s to the early 1970s, Dark Shadows was originally just another daytime TV soap opera revolving around the Collins family as they skulk around their dark gothic mansion keeping secrets from one another. The show took a strange turn when the new ‘central’ character (it is a soap opera after all) of Barnabus Collins was found out, with no hint whatsoever, to be an ancestral vampire. Then the show began to add other gothic supernatural elements, much like a web comic that’s trying too hard. But unlike web comics, this odd turn found an unexpected large audience of school children that took a fancy to the show’s campy, melodramatic characters and story. And low and behold the oddest pop culture phenomenon was born; it was the internet meme of its time (I still don't get those). A few of those fans grew up and came to work in Hollywood, including Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and Michelle Pfeiffer, and the show finally gets its big budget film adaptation. Unfortunately the movie also casts its own massive shadow.

Ask anyone who has met me and they’ll be able to tell you that I’m a huge Tim Burton fan. But don’t think this review is going to be full of biases because I just find that being a fan of someone just makes me more aware of their products. While not all of Burton’s projects are hits, he’s never had any complete misses in his career either. There’s always some sort of redeeming factor in his films that any critic has to admit is worth seeing, mostly in the visual department of course, after all this is the guy with troll doll emo hair. Dark Shadows doesn’t keep this a secret as it is easily the best looking movie to come out this year so far. The depiction of the 1970’s is the best I’ve seen in a long time and the contrasting humour with Barnabus’s gothic routes makes the setting all the more alien and intriguing. To see Barnabus’s confused interaction is like watching a puppy trying to walk on hot pavement, awww he just doesn’t get it. Eva Green as Angelica the witch does a great job at being one of the most determined and malicious ex-girlfriends seen on screen and gives new meaning to the term, “home wrecker.” In fact all the actors do a great job in their character portrayal and it’s nice to see everyone let loose and just have fun with their roles. And sure the cosmetics look like the make-up artist and a wedding caterer mistakenly switched shifts but I love that kind of effect as it gives so more expression than other styles. This is also one of Danny Elfman’s best score pieces. Combining his trademarked ‘woos’ with 70’s rock seems strange but it’s as oddly fitting as the Collin’s family.

Unfortunately the movie doesn’t seem to be able to decide on what tone or theme it wants to role with and so it just ends up being just as schizophrenic as the Collin’s family. While the 70’s atmosphere is just as immersing as a bean bag chair, the tone always seems to want to yank you out of it. Barnabus can honestly say that he loves you and then tear out your throat at the slightest gurgle of his stomach. That moment could even be perceived as funny, but instead the producers went for disturbing. The movie as well keeps on setting up interesting jokes and scenes and you think the movie is going to start rolling, but they rarely do anything with them. And when you’re a fan of Tim Burton, it’s like going to a party with a person who has short term memory loss and keeps on trying to tell humorous antidotes, really everyone ends up just feeling embarrassed. The movie also keeps strongly reminding on its message of family, but it doesn’t do much with it other than to have it serve as a guilty reminder. The audience keeps on being told about the characters’ developments and their interaction between each other but we rarely see it. How does the audience know if they’re telling the truth or not then? For the amount of characters and secrets this movie has it really shows how this is intended for TV. By touching on so many stories and themes the movie’s complexity just ends up as simplicity.

The ending of Dark Shadows implies that it REALLY wants to have a sequel and though it will never get one, I would be really interested in seeing it. When everyone’s secrets gets out in the open and they are no longer acting repressed, it becomes outrageously entertaining and would’ve caught that humorous spark that other Burton films had, like Sleepy Hollow. If the movie started in medias res instead of being an origin story it could’ve been a much stronger film since no one would be tip toeing around others like spy vs. spy. Even if the movie did it completely over the top melodramatic like the show instead of always trying for jokes it’d be even more entertaining than its soap opera routes. When the movie embraces its absurd gothic nature it becomes exhilarating, but it doesn’t really figure that out fully until last damn ten minutes of the movie. It really makes me wonder why they didn’t do that for the entire movie. I guess Barnabus will never really be broken of the Collins family curse.