I finally got a job interview after waiting for one for nearly 5 months. Granted, I only sent 5 copies of my resume out this past week. Lazy me, I should send over 1000 a month like many of my friends.

A few days back, I had a dream where I went back to a simple comfy riverside resort that I dreamed about many years ago. I checked in at night, reveled in its atmosphere, slept for the night ("We need to go deeper."), and had breakfast with other guests the next morning.

I was feeling very happy about it as I sat at the dining table, and I started to think back of all beautiful places I dreamed of. Suddenly though, a sense of heart-wrenching morose kicked in. Maybe I knew, even while dreaming, that this was all fantasy and it could never be real. Also, remembering that there were so many big things to worry about in the real world, I felt guilty of hiding away in the recesses of my mind from the outside world.

Then I woke up, yet that hurtful nostalgia lingered. It made me cry.

So while I wait to see if my interview went well, I will plan my possible future career in work, study and play. Maybe they will steer my mind back to the future. Thinking about the past events, both good and bad, aches me if I do so too hard too long.