Today I nervously went in for my drug test and physical exam. I wan't worried about the drug test, I was worried about my back, my hearing and my color blindness.

So here's how the old dragon measured up...

I passed the drug test with flying colors.

I didn't have my vision tested for colors so no problem on that!

Now my back. The guy testing me noticed I was locking up trying to move into some of the positions he asked me to get to.. I failed only one test.. the one he called the superman test. For that one you have to lay down flat on a mat, raise your head to a ninety degree angle to your back and look forward as raise your legs and your arms up off the mat and hold them their for a minute. After 20 seconds I couldn't hold it and one of my knees touched the mat. Game over.. I failed.

So now I'm really nervous.. The next test was the repetitive 50 lb weight lift. Despite the fact that my back was twitching I went up and did the test.. (I used my legs to lift like your supposed to..) I did freak the instructor out because I cantilevered the weight with my arms so I could pull the weight to my center of gravity before lifting. (In other words I brought the weight up with my arms to my body then used my legs to stand up.)

The test guy asked me not to do that, but mentioned that he was surprised I could with my upper arm strength alone. He even went so far as to say that I should do that if I can in the real world, as it it the more correct way of lifting.. which I know because I screwed my back up lifting wrong before.

Anyway up down repeat and so on.. he hurmmed and asked for another test. Lay flat with my head against the mat and lift a bar over my head.. So I did.. way back, as far up as I could. He was surprised how much of an angle I could make with very little effort.

The last set of tests were to measure my ability to basically bend. Now I have a twisted spine, it's called scoliosis, (that thing they test you for when you were in grade school.) The test guy noted instantly that one of my legs is shorter that the other. What could I do? I had to agree that I knew about it. Then we did the bending tests. What do you know... One way I can bend 100% more than the other..

So the tests are over and I'm sitting on the exam table. I know My friends are all counting on me to pass these tests and stuff and I'm nervous so I just blurt it out... "Well, how did I do? Did I pass or fail?"

The test guy looks up and says... "Well your drug test came back clean, you have a problem in your lower back with it not flexing but you passed the lift test with flying colors so I'm going to call the company tomorrow morning and tell them you passed."

He asked my if I had any questions, and I did, about how to help myself better with the test I failed and he gave me some exercises to do even thou I know the reason why I failed is I have fused vertebrae.. we shook hands and I went on to the hearing test.

Oddly, despite the fact that my hearing isn't all that great and I damn near failed my MEPS (Military Entrance Physical Standard) hearing test... I passed wonderfully. (I can hear the tones, but when they modulate (like when you speak) it kinda turns into mush.. :) Once again, on the high end of the scale I was hearing stuff that most folks can't.. but I showed up average for all the other frequencies.. close but within normal hearing range!

So the results... Unless something weird that shouldn't shows up in my background, I passed my tests and should start next Monday! (YEA!)