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OMFG MY MOTHER
13 years ago
Right
my brother and mum are both scared of spiders
my brother is actually terrified of them
so I was just about to go to bed when they call for me in the kitchen
I go in there and they are pointing at this spider on the ceiling that they want me to get.
I told them I cannot get it because it's on the ceiling so I made a sandwich while they went to get me a chair to get it.
My mum came in with the chair and shrieked
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? YOU'LL GET CRUMBS EVERYWHERE!! SPIDERS ARE ATTRACTED TO CRUMBS!!"
SPIDERS ARE ATTRACTED TO CRUMBS.
CRUMBS.
I then told her that, yes, spiders are obviously attracted to crumbs and that's why they build webs, so if a crumb comes wandering along they can get tangled in it so they can't escape.
I JUST KEEP THINKING OF SPIDERS
PREYING ON CRUMBS
Ps I got the spider.
my brother and mum are both scared of spiders
my brother is actually terrified of them
so I was just about to go to bed when they call for me in the kitchen
I go in there and they are pointing at this spider on the ceiling that they want me to get.
I told them I cannot get it because it's on the ceiling so I made a sandwich while they went to get me a chair to get it.
My mum came in with the chair and shrieked
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? YOU'LL GET CRUMBS EVERYWHERE!! SPIDERS ARE ATTRACTED TO CRUMBS!!"
SPIDERS ARE ATTRACTED TO CRUMBS.
CRUMBS.
I then told her that, yes, spiders are obviously attracted to crumbs and that's why they build webs, so if a crumb comes wandering along they can get tangled in it so they can't escape.
I JUST KEEP THINKING OF SPIDERS
PREYING ON CRUMBS
Ps I got the spider.
crumb loving spiders is pretty adorbs
I MUST DRAW IT
Did you put SPIDERS PREY ON CRUMBS
It was so funny.
IF YOU APPROVE I WILL TELL YOU the story of me & mother vs. squirrel in chimney.
Then this one day we were all just chilling out in the first floor and we heard a thump and some frantic scratching and squeaks. It was obvious a squirrel had fallen into the chimney. There was some panicked debate about what to do, and when my stepfather walked away all "fuq dat shit" me and my mom decided that we had to be the defenders of our fortress/home.
We sat with our heads together for about 10 minutes debating the best way to go about this. Despite the debate, we decided to go with a plan involving a large blanket being placed over the mouth of the chimney, one of us holding it, the other opening the flue to allow the squirrel to fall down into the fireplace itself, where some magic would happen and the squirrel would become safely wrapped in said blanket and promptly throw outside. Our plan was obviously flawed.
1 - when the flue was opened, the squirrel used his ridiculous spiderman-like powers to cling to the side of the chimney and not fall down for about 15 minutes while we banged on things and stuck things up the flue to try to get him out.
2 - when he finally did fall, we were not accounting for the horrendously terrifying noises that frightened/poked/pissed off/confused squirrels make. We are not really girly women, but enough so that we did not want to attempt throwing a thin blanket over a potentially rabid and growling squirrel.
3 - the blanket was way too small.
So there we were, I was trying to cover as much of the mouth of the fireplace as I could with this cheap blanket, my mom staring at it as if a demon were about to burst from it.
The end came about rapidly when the squirrel decided he was done with playing games and made a leap to get out of the fireplace. I scrambled to cover him (halfway) and my mother made a bold dash to get a towel, which we wrapped him up in much like a spider wrapping up it's prey. Except much faster. Screaming and making a fuss, we ran to the door and tossed the blankets and all out on the front yard. It took about 5 minutes for the stunned squirrel to realize what had happened and bolt.
We high-fived and continued on with our day n__n
RABID SQUIRREL.
i
cannot
stop
laughing.