Ugh. I feel off today. Discovered while doing a demo that I don't have the supplies for my next two at 4 and 7 today. My manager has advised me to scrounge around for pieces of leather and rope I can use for my demos here at home. I could go into the office to get them... except that's an hour's drive one way. And I'm rather sick of having to go all that way. I'm beginning to doubt the wisdom of being in this job.

What's more finding out my supplies were low also reminded me of everything else I haven't done. Haven't pursued new contacts. Haven't called back to check with previous people to see if they contacted those people. Haven't set up new appointments, except for the one at 4 today. And I'm now 1 for 5 in regards to sales.

I have trouble with commitment and don't know why. And I always seem to doubt myself whenever I get a little ways into stuff. Sometimes almost at the beginning. Probably some spiritual warfare going on, but I'm not sure what. I just find myself with the urge to quit, to back out, to find other employment. I'm not really sure to do, and I keep finding myself in doubt of my abilities, and I hate that. I don't even know if I'm where God needs me to be.

I'm weary, I'm stressed, and my mind is filling with doubts. Any wonder that I just want to curl up today?