It's not even 8'o clock in the morning.
I should be sleeping (i REALLY should be sleeping, as i need lots of rest).

BUT of course (as my roomate didn't feed the cats) i got awaken and then my brain took over.

And i'm now a bundle of stress and worries, once again.

I asked the hospital to work ou a refund plan for my last bill (yes, i'm so low in finances that i have to ask a refund plan for not even 200 fucking euros!) and it got refused: "we don't do refund plans for such low amounts".

I had to pay for my yearly transportation subscription (to be able to take the bus and tram).. 480 euros! (and no, i coudn't go without it, as i have to go twice a week to a kinesitherapist, otherwise my arm swells to incredible proportions and hurts like hell, due to the removal of my lymph nodes)..

Still waiting on my surgery bill from same said hospital. I don't even know how much to expect...

I'll have to start radiotherapy soon.. and i already know i won't be able to afford it..

My teeth ache (wasn't allowed to go to dentist while having chemo and i lost a filling).. but, again, i can't afford it -yes, it'll probably get partially refunded, but you have to cough up the cash upfront, here)..

We are not even the 10th of the month and already i can't pay my bills or even buy food (surviving on pasta and such).
And i know that the mere 55% i'll get from my salary won't help a bit, when i'll receive them (which is still to be heard of)

I'm so fed up with everything.
I mean, i survived cancer, i almost beat it....

I should be happy, relieved.. instead i'm miserable, worried and sad..

Wish i was an artist, so i could sell art, but atm i have no mean of raising any money... already sold all that was sellable in the house...
Nobody liked the custom ponies i made (i mean, i always had to sell them for less than they cost me to make)..

My head is too full..

Sorry for this lenghty, sad rant, but i needed it...