I often hold it questionable on if I really belong in where I currently am and if somehow I was adopted at birth. Me and a few friends often use the phrase "being adopted" as a metaphor for when something doesn't work. I almost welcome it as a compliment.

Before I can begin, I have to give a bit of background; Ascott is my cat who I adopted from  lunaragk. Originally I was to adopt two cats: Ascott and Shadow. Shadow suffers from being near completely blind and had relied on Ascott to get around. Since they were sent into a shelter, Shadow's vision was partially restored, but he became very stressed to near suicidal. I was able to find someone else to take care of Shadow, and while from last I was told he was not still happy, he was alive.

The reason I couldn't adopt Shadow was due to a last minute change in plans. I live with my father and grandfather, in where I mostly have no control over my own life. Despite my two majors, being self employed, and asking for little to no money from them, nothing seems to please them. We were having mice problems and I had vouched that we should adopt a cat. I was already familiar with both Ascott and Shadow, and knew Ascott was more than capable of dealing with the problem. Adopting them was a bit more than just fixing a household problem; we previously had another cat named Oliver. He wasn't the most friendly of cats, but his presence helped make people more calm. Ascott and I got along well at Lunara's place and having adopted him, while a struggle to get to that point due to family ordeals, has made a big impact on my current life.

Ascott has adjusted well to the house and commonly sleeps on my bed with me when resting. Like a small dog (which to him, could be easily taken as an insult), he typically follows me around the house or sleeps under the dining room table. He just does his usual sleeping, stalking some mice, and wondering around seeking attention. I also find him in my room or in front of my bedroom door after arguments. I don't understand my family but sometimes I wonder if he has a better understanding than I do.

After a previous argument regarding a new phone I got and financials regarding it, I just laid on my bed and left my $300 paperweight sit on my desk. Ascott, of course, was in my room, waiting. He jumped up on me bed and just stared at me. I looked at him thinking he just wanted attention, but you can tell if that is the case by looking at his eyes. He is a cat, but somehow he just had that look in his eyes that said he didn't want attention. That's Ascott for you.

I gave him a small head rub, but instead of flopping down on the bed, he slowly laid down and, after bringing my finger down for chin scratching, began to lick my hand. I figured it'd only last for a few moments, but after a solid minute and without letting up, I was rather confused. I just continued to lay on the bed, now just watching Ascott licking away like my hand was covered in gravy or whatever.

I guess you get a lot of time to think when you don't move around for awhile (that, or Ascott has somehow found a way to lick time away). I just recalled older short stories I had read in the college where apparently I am doing nothing and recalled a quote from a story involving a worker at a funeral home. Somehow I felt that this quote that came flooding in was from that and left me rather mixed in feeling: "Sometimes the best thing you can do is just wash your hands."

And there laid the hand-licking Ascott, cleaning my one hand just after yet another huge argument. I wasn't sure on what to think at this point except that Ascott was more human than cat if anything. He was more calm than anyone else in the whole house, and still, above everything, he was more happy with how things were. I fell asleep a few times and upon waking up, there was Ascott, sleeping next to me and only waking moments after I did. By the second time I got what he was hinting at; he wanted the air conditioner on.

Sometimes I wonder why I still don't even understand my family, but now I question why I can understand the darn cat better than anyone else. He is someone with just simple needs, and yet is far more accepting than most I know.

But I guess I had to wash my hands hands first to better understand that, even if I needed a little help.

-Flame Soulis