I really don't know what to write anymore. Never thought anyone could so utterly flay out my mind, not like this anyone. Not someone I barely know, either. But...fuck, I'm just so sick of this. Getting punished for an imagined slight, pressured by my folks and the world all around me...I don't even look to the future anymore. The tunnel seems to be getting longer, right here at the very end...and I don't know who to turn to. I mean, there's plenty of folks offering support, but, real, lasting help? That's not quite the same, much as I appreciate the offers of support I've gotten.


I don't even have the energy to get out of bed anymore....the thought of eating makes me ill. It's like there's this wall all around me, and try as I might, I can't climb over or break through. I'm just on automatic, trying to rebuild the sense of meaning and purpose I thought I'd come to know. Guess I still have a lot of growing up to do.

Just wish the road had a few less land mines for me.