I'm not even sure what to put up as a Journal, but I lost a dear friend today. She was 14 years old and I've known her since I was 12. She had gotten a pretty well sized tumor on her right shoulder and we knew that if we took her into the vet they would tell us to either leave it, put her down or go with surgery. Because of her age she was already a high risk, but when we took her in we found out she had a heart murmur and the odds didn't look good. We tried letting her be but as most animals will do. She started to try to take care of the problem her self. She had opened the tumor and we needed to take her in. She passed away when they were closing her up.

I remember when she was just a kitten and I had just gotten home from school. She was adorable. Bright blue eyes, siamese coloring coat. We called her Coco Butter, but coco for short. When I was 15 she had gotten into the attic and managed to get under the house. We didn't find her for about a week. I know I was terrified when we did find her, that she had lost so much weight. She had pulled threw, Coco always seemed to pull threw. She did have favorites as the time passed on. When I was 17 and she was 5, she use to sleep in my room with me. Even sometimes at night she would start trying to clean my hair. When I was 19 and moved away from my family. I wanted to take her with me but I knew I would not be able to take care of her the way she needed. My family has had other pets, but none like Coco she was her own person you could say. Now I'm 26. Part of me feels like I shouldn't be upset that she passed away because she lived a very full life. But I cant stop crying and feeling like she'll just meow and be next to my feet.

We are going to bury her when we get her from the vet. Today turned sour very fast.