FA+
Shop
Be careful what you wish for!
17 years ago
The Rantings of an Art Crazed Chow, Second verse, same as the first.
Caution! this may be quite long, I'll try to keep it down to a low roar.
The mind is a curious thing and the same can be said for dreams. The past week and a half have been a bit stressful for me, a lot on my mind and most times they play out in my dreams, harmless or so I thought. I should not say that the recent forum thread in the rant and rave section about sexism rattled me and since it had somehow disappeared, I figured it was buried and forgotten... Wrong said my brain and it fought back with a vengeance.
It is rare for me to have dreams of changing genders and most times I dismiss it as just purging of random thoughts, but the last dream I had hit me profoundly. A typical dream-like setting, my apartment, the bathroom and a surprised face in the mirror as the image that reflected back to me was that of a woman, a female version of me. I thought nothing of it at first, just the usual dream but the image began to argue with me. With each point she made I countered with what I thought was reason and logic. I cited the good I tried to do as a man, how I tried to be a gentleman. The image aged as I had aged and she did not look all that appealing.
"You thought to compensate for your shortcomings by bowing and fetching for the fairer sex?" asked the image. "Yet your past works show exploitation, a fevered attempt to satisfy something you lack in." I felt ashamed to look upon myself, to look lower, to touch lower. In this dream, I turned away from myself and in doing so felt the urge to weep.
"There is still hope for you. I won't say what it is, you have to figure that out for yourself." the image mocked. I opened the medicine cabinet and peered upon it's contents, unfamiliar yet known to me. I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart racing, and oddly enough, thank god! no erection! I would guess it was the thought of "Walk a mile in my shoes!" that prompted the dream. Surreal, yet profound enough for me to think upon the subject further.
My friends, I would suspect that some may be growing tired of my constant ranting and raving about my life and I for one would agree. All I ask is to bear with me, to allow me just a little bit of venting so I can try and find myself. Nah, no major changes to my life is expected, just some thought on things and I will continue to do that madness I do, just that I might hold back a bit while I search for my center again.
Cheers.
The mind is a curious thing and the same can be said for dreams. The past week and a half have been a bit stressful for me, a lot on my mind and most times they play out in my dreams, harmless or so I thought. I should not say that the recent forum thread in the rant and rave section about sexism rattled me and since it had somehow disappeared, I figured it was buried and forgotten... Wrong said my brain and it fought back with a vengeance.
It is rare for me to have dreams of changing genders and most times I dismiss it as just purging of random thoughts, but the last dream I had hit me profoundly. A typical dream-like setting, my apartment, the bathroom and a surprised face in the mirror as the image that reflected back to me was that of a woman, a female version of me. I thought nothing of it at first, just the usual dream but the image began to argue with me. With each point she made I countered with what I thought was reason and logic. I cited the good I tried to do as a man, how I tried to be a gentleman. The image aged as I had aged and she did not look all that appealing.
"You thought to compensate for your shortcomings by bowing and fetching for the fairer sex?" asked the image. "Yet your past works show exploitation, a fevered attempt to satisfy something you lack in." I felt ashamed to look upon myself, to look lower, to touch lower. In this dream, I turned away from myself and in doing so felt the urge to weep.
"There is still hope for you. I won't say what it is, you have to figure that out for yourself." the image mocked. I opened the medicine cabinet and peered upon it's contents, unfamiliar yet known to me. I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart racing, and oddly enough, thank god! no erection! I would guess it was the thought of "Walk a mile in my shoes!" that prompted the dream. Surreal, yet profound enough for me to think upon the subject further.
My friends, I would suspect that some may be growing tired of my constant ranting and raving about my life and I for one would agree. All I ask is to bear with me, to allow me just a little bit of venting so I can try and find myself. Nah, no major changes to my life is expected, just some thought on things and I will continue to do that madness I do, just that I might hold back a bit while I search for my center again.
Cheers.
As For The Ranting, I Respect What You Have To Say! So Feel Free To Vent
Cheers Dude!
BTW...Have You Read My Latest Journal?
Long as you don't go 'too' dramatic, and just keep things to the point, i'll pretty much listen happily to whatever you have to say ^^
My own dreams are kinda random, an usually vary depending on what i've eaten, or how much sleep i've had >.> I still remember this dream I had yesterday when I woke up, I was sittin with that scarecrow from the wizard of oz, smoking some.. greens, and he accidently caught on fire. I've never woke up laughing before XD *shrugs* Ah well. ^^ Keep the journals coming, and i'll keep adding my own couple of pennies to it ^.~
Thanks again for responding. Chees.