since my last journal entry:

after being laid off from Firefighting (structual) I haven't been myself lately.
always having these "suicidal thoughts" for past monthsm just thinking about them mostly.
there's the hard times, harsh times and only a few good times since then.

I'm the guy who is too "kind" to everyone, I can't help it being that way, I always help other out and rarely expect anything back in return.

I'm getting closer and closer to the breaking point....

anyways, I'm just venting here. no one reads my journals...