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So.... back when you were little boys and girls, there was this overhyped latina superstar whose talent, I guess, was to parade up and down red carpets in slinky little outfits- Let's just give her a generic, meaningless name like... um... Jennifer..... Lopez- Yes, that will do. I think she's hosting some show with a bunch of other old people now... Anyway, one day many years ago she showed up at a red carpet event nekkid. Yes, nekkid. Well, ok- by nekkid I mean she was wearing a thong, a flimsy, see-through blue-green negligee, sticky-tape, and copious amounts of glitter to help fill in the- ahem- "bare spots". Well, ok- when I say she was wearing a flimsy negligee I mean she was ALMOST wearing it. In fact, it seemed to arrive on the red carpet about 30 seconds after she did. One gets the impression that her stylist had simply forgotten to dress her. So...... there she was parading around in all her glory, her negligible negligee hanging off her overly bronzed body, held together with nothing more than a strategically placed brooch- which was the only thing preventing the whole world from becoming her gynecologist.
Whetever.

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Now what fascinated me was this:
JLo's red carpet walk quickly turned into a scene from "The Emperor's New Clothes" complete with a parade of fools. Despite the fact that JLo was as naked as a jaybird, the commentators kept going on about her... um... "dress", implying that she was actually wearing one. They kept saying how interesting it was ...... and how shocking it was..... and how revealing it was..... And wasn't she daring to ....wear it.
So.......
These foolish commentators continued bluffing their way through the broadcast saying how fabulous "That Dress" was and.......... wait! Hold on! Maybe they weren't bluffing. Maybe they actually saw a dress! Perhaps I- I alone am the fool- because I swear I certainly never did see a dress. Yes, that's it. I must be a fool because I swear that the Empress paraded down that red carpet naked. In fact, I was almost sure I heard a child say- "Look mommy! She's not wearing any clothes" Oh, well. Whether there was an actual dress or whether it was just the figment of a collective imagination, Empress JLo certainly raised a few eyebrows on that day.

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Speaking of naked-
I believe it was Justin Timberlake who uttered the words: "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song" And he did. Those haunting words still send shivers up and down my spine as the prelude to the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" that followed. The lyrics had barely come forth from his mouth when he... oh, I can't even say it.... he unceremoniously ripped off Janet Jackson's bodice, revealing........ an actual female breast. The horror. It was quite literally thrust out upon a totally unsuspecting audience for all to see. Yes, I too was frightened. There was no time to look away. The damage had been done- the image now seared into my brain. Oh the calamity. And what about the children? Think of all the poor innocent children traumatized by the sight of that sagging, middle-aged breast. Some sort of mid-evil nipple ornament weighed it down even further, ensuring that one day soon, her knobby breast would be hanging down to her knobby knees. In truth, I'm not sure that her nipple was even visible, but I just remember it that way- you know? So.... Janet feigned a display of modesty and ran off the stage, but no one was fooled. The next day, her brother Jermaine Jackson expresssed that he was only shocked that she didn't expose BOTH breasts. You know, people say that we lost our innocence on 9/11. I disagree. I say we lost it during that superbowl. If only we could go back to a kinder, gentler time and recapture our innocence. But it's gone.
Which brings me to 👑 and "That Picture".
I recently started watching 👑. I realize that 👑, much like Janet or JLo, earns a living by showing off the goods. Fine. But much like Janet or JLo - 👑 may have crossed a boundary of good taste. There is something about being popular and being in the limelight that has a way of bloating egos and blurring good judgment. 👑 appears to be no exception.

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So those of us currently viewing more "general audience" fare on F.A. may have raised an eyebrow or two at a recent submission that 👑 posted. The picture of Luther and Amon getting all touchy- feely, with the bottom cropped out. Ok..... I suppose Luther and Amon could have been innocently checking each other for pre-cancerous lesions, but I doubt it. I'm not a prude, as evidenced by my gallery, and I am accustomed to seeing suggestive pictures in my inbox. But I admit I was startled when this picture popped up. Cropped though it was, somehow it seemed to cross an invisible line. There was something about it that was both titillating and upsetting at the same time. It was undeniably a beautiful picture and although I shouldn't have, I leered at it a little bit too long. It made me feel all warm and tingly... You know, down there. (I could hear the Church Lady chiding me in my head.) Most of the suggestive pictures that pass through my inbox don't make me feel this way, but this one did.

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I was also a little upset because the picture was a spoiler for me. I recently began following "Red Lantern", but I hadn't seen any of the adult panels. Before this picture popped up, I had no idea that "services had been rendered" between Luther and Amon so to speak. I was living in the innocent fantasy that nothing more than a friendly massage had occurred between the two of them. This picture prematurely ripped away that childlike innocence, just as surely as Ms. Jackson's malfunctioning bodice. Just as surely as a showering session with Jerry Sandusky. Ouch! I didn't want a sexual act pushed on me so quickly and unexpectedly. I mean.... on Amon and Luther...... yes! That's it. I mean, I knew it was coming, but as long as I didn't actually see it, I could pretend it hadn't happened yet. Now there was no hiding from that reality. I deleted the picture.

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So it seems someone complained to F.A. about the picture because shortly afterward 👑 put out a journal addressing the situation. It reads in part:
"If you are EXTREMELY underage, you should not know what a blowjob is. And if you do, oh well. Damage done." -👑
Um... really?
Clearly this was a message to 👑's legions of underage watchers. How touching to see an artist reaching out to the fan base. Whatever. So 👑 droned on and on in the journal about how "I'm an ADULT artist" and "other artists put out way more suggestive stuff than I do and they don't get in any trouble......." As I continued reading, I could visualize Michael Jackson holding hands with that 13 year old boy on the couch and saying derisively: "Why can't you share your bed?" I'm not sure if it was a question or a comment, but the underlying tone was: "Who are you to judge me!" Indeed, who am I to judge? Nobody.

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Oh, sure, I've put out some suggestive stuff too, but unlike 👑, I have the luxury of knowing that no one notices or cares....... Apparently. So anyway, do those who are actually being watched have a greater responsibility to show discernment? Whatever the answer, it is unfortunate that those are the very people whose inflated egos make them think that they can do anything they want and how dare anyone question them. (Just think about Jennifer, Jerry, Justin, Janet and Jacko.) So much for innocence!

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Now I'm not saying that 👑 or any of these other bloated celebs did anything inappropriate. No, certainly not! After all the only real crime is judging another's actions. Isn't it? I'm only saying that their actions raised a few eyebrows, that's all.

Suffer the little children.