I have had a crappy crappy crappy day and I cant seem to feel any better. People who I know I cant seem to get a hold of for help with moving some furniture, the utilities at the new place were turned off and its over 100 outside and 90 degrees in the apartment as I try to move heavy boxes up stairs, I couldn't get a change of address form and told to go online... that failed, ended up stuck in traffic, and was carrying a box greater than 40 pounds out of the apartment, literally dragging it while people just watched. No "hey you need some help?" or anything.

I am just depressed and want some hugs. I guess that may seem a bit emo and beggy... but I am really feeling that down. I am starting to learn who my true friends are one at a time and it hurts.... lots. To those of you far away, I know you care (those that I consider family and friends) and I know you cant be here. It only makes me miss you more cause you are the one's I know would help me out in a heart beat.

I guess I am allowed one emo depressive journal right? Its the only way I know how to get all the pent up anger out. I want to tell those I thought would help me to bite it the next time they ask for help... but a good part of me wont let it happen. So many times I have just felt forgotten or left behind by the people closer by... it sucks. What are you suppose to do? I am not the person to tell others "screw you"... I think I am more afraid to lose friends that way.

Anyways... I will stop this rant for now..... maybe things will look up soon.