FA+
Shop
My Summer Deployment
13 years ago
LAND AHOY
FOR THOSE OF YOU UNAWARE OF MY CURRENT PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT I AM IN THE UNITED STATES NAVY AND JUST FINISHED UP SIX GODAWEFUL MONTHS AT SEA
Pardon my last journal, it was hard to understand, borderline cryptic, if you don't know me. What it translated to was that I was deploying at sea for a half of a year and will not be doing jack shit on the internet.
Unfortunately that means I haven't posted anything and might have lost a few watchers in the balance, but whatevsies, their loss.
Operation Enduring Boredom
So it was a pretty shitty deployment. We mostly just wasted time around Middle America looking fordrug smugglers drugglers. We caught one boat with three dudes and that was it. The rest of it was just being idle and bugging the shit out of fishermen. The first four months felt like we had no real purpose, and then the last two months we didn't have any jurisdiction to catch drugrunners so we actually didn't have a purpose. TWO HUNDRED HEARTS. NO MISSION. As to be expected the food underway was shit, even moreso since we were far enough away from home that we could only get gross panama or guatemala supplies. Thanks to having to wear these boots all the time I was able to contract and defeat athelete's foot DOZENS OF TIMES. We only visited three ports, and I use the word "port" lightly. The areas we were allowed to go in Guatemala were a tourist trap market and a bar that opened at 10(a disaster, we drained it FIVE TIMES) and Columbia was just the bar. Panama City had a bit more to offer, albiet shit anyways. They're pretty far behind us and as much as I wanted to culture up more, it was just not fucking worth it. Everything was so sketchy and disgusting down there. We visited panama about six times. One of the cool things about Panama City is that they have these ridiculous busses that putt around town all the time. They are all painted to be fucking obnoxious and are usually lined with lights like the floor of a movie theatre. They have horns that outclass our ship's whistle and are so stupid that they are magnificent. We were not allowed to use them, not that I would, because they are apparently great places to get mugged and/or raped. We ended up renting a limo a couple of times for the entire night for sixty bucks and it was usually five of us. I mean, it was a shitty limo but way better than cramming into a cab. Of the few cool things that went down we went to a brazillian steak house, where they brought out cut after cut of delicious different kinds of meats until we were all ready to bust. That was one of the one cool nights I had. We went to see Battleship and that movie was cooler than I thought it would be, and far fucking cheesier than I thought possible. It also doesn't help that I'm in the military and a lot of the shit they did didn't make a damned ounce of sense.
And that's all we had for ports this entire deployment.
Mostly just being bored and trying not to kill everybody is what I had to do. And believe you me, it was tempting. I had no idea I could harbor such a passionate hatred for people until I was locked in a metal box with the same idiots for a half a year. Deployment is like prison, but the stories in prison are better, and they have a way better gym, but it's questionable whether or not the food would be better.
Let's see here, cool things that happened. I got to see sea turtles. Those things rule. We saw a few of those huge rays breach but it was at a pretty good distance. OH AND I ALMOST CAUGHT A WIERD SEAGULL When we were cruising close to shore we would always be flocked by these wierd birds shaped like seagulls with brown backs and white underbellys that quacked like penguins. During some rain we were doing something outside and on occaision one would land on the deck to rest or something, I went for it and it was super slow and awkward taking off again. The first one got away completely, the second one I was able to touch but didn't act quick enough to grab it. Had I been given another attempt I swear to gosh I would have caught one.
Several weeks after that we were in different waters I think (I don't care) I was doing some maintenance on something on the front of the boat and a Boobie landed on the deck and couldn't take off again. I have been told something about the windcurrent over the front of the ship makes it hard for birds to get airborne again. Either way I chased that thing into a corner and got to pet it a few times. It bit me but not that hard. I couldn't get angry because it was so goofy looking and I LOVE BIRDS. I wanted to pick the thing up but I couldn't find anyone nearby with a camera to capture the moment so I just chased the awkward bugger to the edge of the boat where he could take off again.
One advantage to it all though though, when I go out to sea there are no distractions, no communication, no new video games. The only things I have are my tablet, my imagination, and all of the time in the fucking world.
What would I do with these few things?
Something productive, I can tell you that much.
Anyways...
BRACE FOR ART YOU MAGNIFICENT MOTHERFUCKERS
FOR THOSE OF YOU UNAWARE OF MY CURRENT PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT I AM IN THE UNITED STATES NAVY AND JUST FINISHED UP SIX GODAWEFUL MONTHS AT SEA
Pardon my last journal, it was hard to understand, borderline cryptic, if you don't know me. What it translated to was that I was deploying at sea for a half of a year and will not be doing jack shit on the internet.
Unfortunately that means I haven't posted anything and might have lost a few watchers in the balance, but whatevsies, their loss.
Operation Enduring Boredom
So it was a pretty shitty deployment. We mostly just wasted time around Middle America looking for
And that's all we had for ports this entire deployment.
Mostly just being bored and trying not to kill everybody is what I had to do. And believe you me, it was tempting. I had no idea I could harbor such a passionate hatred for people until I was locked in a metal box with the same idiots for a half a year. Deployment is like prison, but the stories in prison are better, and they have a way better gym, but it's questionable whether or not the food would be better.
Let's see here, cool things that happened. I got to see sea turtles. Those things rule. We saw a few of those huge rays breach but it was at a pretty good distance. OH AND I ALMOST CAUGHT A WIERD SEAGULL When we were cruising close to shore we would always be flocked by these wierd birds shaped like seagulls with brown backs and white underbellys that quacked like penguins. During some rain we were doing something outside and on occaision one would land on the deck to rest or something, I went for it and it was super slow and awkward taking off again. The first one got away completely, the second one I was able to touch but didn't act quick enough to grab it. Had I been given another attempt I swear to gosh I would have caught one.
Several weeks after that we were in different waters I think (I don't care) I was doing some maintenance on something on the front of the boat and a Boobie landed on the deck and couldn't take off again. I have been told something about the windcurrent over the front of the ship makes it hard for birds to get airborne again. Either way I chased that thing into a corner and got to pet it a few times. It bit me but not that hard. I couldn't get angry because it was so goofy looking and I LOVE BIRDS. I wanted to pick the thing up but I couldn't find anyone nearby with a camera to capture the moment so I just chased the awkward bugger to the edge of the boat where he could take off again.
One advantage to it all though though, when I go out to sea there are no distractions, no communication, no new video games. The only things I have are my tablet, my imagination, and all of the time in the fucking world.
What would I do with these few things?
Something productive, I can tell you that much.
Anyways...
BRACE FOR ART YOU MAGNIFICENT MOTHERFUCKERS
And yeah, Battleship was ridiculous and all, but if someone told you "okay, we're giving you millions of dollars to film a movie based on a game people can play on graph paper", wouldn't you just go completely nuts with it too? I mean, it's not like there's a canon you have to stick to or anything.