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Losing it
13 years ago
General
I feel like I'm losing it. Like lately, I am just drifting. Not thriving, just slowly making my way along without a purpose or inspiration.
I think a large part of my problem is I'm just feeling so detached because it's easier than being miserable. I hate being at home when Evan's here because he has ZERO consideration for others or appreciation for the fact that we provide the roof over his head, his condescending behavior and words give the impression he doesn't care of get it.
I'm feeling lonely, but purposely so, because in my own misery I have such a desire to make others equally miserable. It's my least favorite trait about myself. People are like 'Oh! go hang out or do this!' I do not want to. I'm a curl up with a select few, let the storms rage, and then go about and recover.
I'm just feeling like I'm lost, drifting, and barely staying afloat.
I think a large part of my problem is I'm just feeling so detached because it's easier than being miserable. I hate being at home when Evan's here because he has ZERO consideration for others or appreciation for the fact that we provide the roof over his head, his condescending behavior and words give the impression he doesn't care of get it.
I'm feeling lonely, but purposely so, because in my own misery I have such a desire to make others equally miserable. It's my least favorite trait about myself. People are like 'Oh! go hang out or do this!' I do not want to. I'm a curl up with a select few, let the storms rage, and then go about and recover.
I'm just feeling like I'm lost, drifting, and barely staying afloat.
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=5949661
from here http://objection.mrdictionary.net/i.....ex.php?error=1
I usually find a healthy diet and proper amounts of sleep make a big difference. And then going out and being social helps. Work stress is another big one for me.
It is not enough to simply exist. Some of us need to thrive.
so believe when I say....I understand and you are doing nothing wrong. I know it's easy for me to say and I probably should be taking my own advice...but keep your head up, think about one realistic dream you can strive for, and then stop at nothing to attain it.
My favorite uncle moved here this weekend and my mom's just......being a bitch for lack of a better word. Anytime something changes, she finds herself unable to cope other than to take it out on others and I tend to be the one she takes it out on. I guess I'm just more resilient or something lol. So totally feeling you on the family rumbles, even if it's a different situation.
Long story short, we'll certainly get through it, but, it doesn't hurt to every once in awhile accept less than stellar feelings moods. Just makes the moments when we get back to being more ourselves and enjoying everything better.