Beware! Depressing journal ahead!

I'm just fucking tired of everything that's been going on, I've had two total meltdowns in the last 7 days and I don't know if there'll be more, but I just can't keep going on like this...

Things aren't too good between me and my dad, got into an arguement friday after he put me down all morning, then told me he canceled my bank account which had money in it(I couldn't get back). I took a 5 hour walk and came back, he still hasn't talked to me much at all...

That was when I had the first meltdown...

Got a job for the summer this week, was really looking forward to working for once and actually earning some money for a suit and hopefully a kart, I really was, and it was looking good, then I was told that my family wanted to go to London for the weekend, and I'm supposed to start that weekend... they want to drag me with them, I tried to ask my boss for the weekend off to do it but I couldn't get any slack. I'm being left behind because of it, I have no idea how my weekend is going to go now, and they said they may take longer, so I really have no idea what I'm going to do, how I'm going to get around (especially to amtgard this saturday) or what the hell I'm going to do for food, because I can't access the $168 I have in my bank, I don't have a pin to get any of it.


Kartings going pretty horribly, there's a guy there who's got it out for me and has thus far wrecked me out every week I go. I'm starting to really doubt going anymore, I don't pay as much as I do to be wrecked out and mocked by an asshole, and if nothing's going to be done about that, which I really complained about, as did many others, then there's no point in me continuing to race there. Which is something I love to do and look forward to each week, I don't know what I'd do if that happened, I'm just at the end of my rope, I can't keep that up.

Aaaand I had an overload with all that that happened, I broke down that night and I don't know what the hell is going on anymore, if I don't lose my job I don't know how I'm going to be able to continue, and the same with karting, everything I do just isn't good enough, it always becomes my fault, and I'm the only one that suffers because of it. I never got to do anything for quite a few summers, but when I have a great summer planned out, everything, including my life comes crashing down and destroys it. I just don't want to know what's next, I'm kinda scared about the coming weeks and I have no idea what I'm going to do... everyone in Lively I know has either stopped talking or just ignored me, so I can't really go anywhere, and everyone else is in town, so I'm stuck out here myself, I really have no idea how I can pull this off if that's even possible...