FA+
Shop
Beyond the World's Biggest Wall of Tea
13 years ago
DON'T BURN ME!
Do you guys have an appreciation for the hilariously bad? I do. I'm the type of person who used to go through Fangoria magazine when I was younger, just to look for future movies that seemed like they would be absolutely godawful. It's how I found a movie about a giant killer turkey.
Good times, good times.
But what pales in comparison to that is a movie I found at a Blockbuster called Beyond the Wall of Sleep. The premise is simple: I have no idea what's going on. The most I can gather is that somebody skimmed some H.P. Lovecraft before getting kicked out of a bookstore, and took the names they could remember and tried to make a movie out it. All of this is acted out by people pulled out of aisles at Wal-Mart, with a two-minute cameo by Tom Savini, who is apparently where the budget went (in addition to the opening credits).
Watch it with commentary on. Dear LORD, it's hilarious. Or don't, if you don't want to miss such inspired lines as, "Your loins ache for my synaptic impulses."
But after watching it about twenty-times (literally), it got a bit boring. Nothing's ever boring with andren and mooshay. Out of nowhere, Ivan decided we should watch Beyond the Wall of Sleep with the audio of My Little Pony, Live: The World's Biggest Tea Party. Now, I don't know how to accurately tell you how hilarious it is that all of the songs seem to sync up to major scenes, but seeing somebody die a horrible, flower/demon/milkshake induced death to the sound of Minty warbling about how AWESOME this party is going to be is probably one of the greatest cinematic experiences ever.
That, and we have a weird sense of humor. Hi, my name is Amber, and I think ponies singing until a guy explodes from the utter joy of an impending tea party is funny.
I can try to explain. Imagine this guy snarling "I'm a Little Teapot" at a guy who looks constipated. Or this dude insisting with that EXACT FACE that you really need to invest in some streamers. They're fun. Also, Ardelia is pretty stoked for some pony fun. You should be, too!
And thus, three adults began the tradition of Beyond the World's Biggest Wall of Tea. It is mercilessly shown to anyone we can make watch it, and--to date--the only person to ever find it painful was flamingfennec. But I'm not fully convinced he hated it. :B
I have no idea what prompted me to explain this stuff to ya'll (maybe it's because it's coming time for the ~annual screening~), but to those of you who READ all of that... do you guys have any weird movie stories? Or movie traditions? Hell, do you have any bad movie recommendations? I love that shit. :D
Good times, good times.
But what pales in comparison to that is a movie I found at a Blockbuster called Beyond the Wall of Sleep. The premise is simple: I have no idea what's going on. The most I can gather is that somebody skimmed some H.P. Lovecraft before getting kicked out of a bookstore, and took the names they could remember and tried to make a movie out it. All of this is acted out by people pulled out of aisles at Wal-Mart, with a two-minute cameo by Tom Savini, who is apparently where the budget went (in addition to the opening credits).
Watch it with commentary on. Dear LORD, it's hilarious. Or don't, if you don't want to miss such inspired lines as, "Your loins ache for my synaptic impulses."
But after watching it about twenty-times (literally), it got a bit boring. Nothing's ever boring with andren and mooshay. Out of nowhere, Ivan decided we should watch Beyond the Wall of Sleep with the audio of My Little Pony, Live: The World's Biggest Tea Party. Now, I don't know how to accurately tell you how hilarious it is that all of the songs seem to sync up to major scenes, but seeing somebody die a horrible, flower/demon/milkshake induced death to the sound of Minty warbling about how AWESOME this party is going to be is probably one of the greatest cinematic experiences ever.
That, and we have a weird sense of humor. Hi, my name is Amber, and I think ponies singing until a guy explodes from the utter joy of an impending tea party is funny.
I can try to explain. Imagine this guy snarling "I'm a Little Teapot" at a guy who looks constipated. Or this dude insisting with that EXACT FACE that you really need to invest in some streamers. They're fun. Also, Ardelia is pretty stoked for some pony fun. You should be, too!
And thus, three adults began the tradition of Beyond the World's Biggest Wall of Tea. It is mercilessly shown to anyone we can make watch it, and--to date--the only person to ever find it painful was flamingfennec. But I'm not fully convinced he hated it. :B
I have no idea what prompted me to explain this stuff to ya'll (maybe it's because it's coming time for the ~annual screening~), but to those of you who READ all of that... do you guys have any weird movie stories? Or movie traditions? Hell, do you have any bad movie recommendations? I love that shit. :D
On the bad movie topic tho, I have the non-mst'd version of SPACE MUTINY. Complete with more of REB BROWN SCREAMING. :D
Relatedly, Rats: Night of Terror, and Hell of the Living Dead.
Oh, and the Scorpion King movies. 1 is hilarious, 2 is hilariously bad, and 3 is trying SO HARD to be like 1 that it's kinda sad. (but the villain ingesting the landscape wholesale makes up for it.)
And, oh my god, the Scorpion King movies. I remember when I was, like, in high school that the geography teacher was obsessed with it, and towards the end of the year she actually decided, "Fuck class, we're gonna sit here and watch Dwayne Johnson run around shirtless!" I swear, I laughed harder than I should have at it.
Have never seen the sequels, though. Dunno if I could take SAD bad, so I may skip three. If two is hilariously bad, though, I'm there.
I will allow this youtube video I found to serve as my argument: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgj5-kBTtYE