First of all, know that I am in a particularly tortured mood; I spent five hours straight studying for my biochemistry test, and I can't remember a thing of what I've read, even though I had a surprisingly good amount of focus. I am, quite literally, one of those people who's too stupid for college. Unfortunately I'm also too prideful to admit it and just drop out before I've spent tens of thousands of dollars on a bunch of failed classes. Go me.

I also came home tonight to discover that one of my pet cockroaches is gone. He must have escaped from the tank somehow; I've searched every square millimeter of it and he is nowhere to be found. I've also tried searching every corner of my room, I looked in the garbage can and under the bed and under my rug, but he's a cockroach; he could be anywhere. I'm fairly certain if he hasn't escaped into the walls he's been stepped on or something.

I know he's just a cockroach, and a really small one at that, but I feel really guilty about it. He was my responsibility, and I failed to keep him safe. Goddamn it.

Also, the other cockroach (Molly's her name) isn't eating, or as far as I know, drinking water. She'll probably die soon too unless I figure out what the fuck to do about it.

In addition to that, Mathias hurt his tail and has had a lot of porphyrin around his nose lately, is lethargic most of the day, and squeaks at the slightest provocation. If I wake up one of these days to find him dead in his cage, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle it.