Last night I had a very strange dream. It felt so real, on so many levels. I was doing something, I don't really remember, then something came to my attention. Some how, someway, the people I was hanging out with were able to manipulate time and places. We did what we needed to do, and we saved Vex. We took him from a period two weeks prior to his accident, and changed situations enough, pulling him through time to the present. We were able to warn him about what was going to happen.

As soon as I saw him, I started touching him, running my hands along his face, his shoulders, his arms and hands, unable to believe it was really him. He looked at me like I was out of my mind, trying to figure out what the heck I was doing. Once it finally sank in it was really him, and he was really real, and really alive, I burst into tears and hugged him tightly, and told him everything. I told him to make sure he was careful driving. I told him to not let himself get distracted by his new head unit on his stereo. I told him about the accident. I told him about his own death. I told him that we weren't able to save Loki too, and that she was really gone. I was able to give him a letter of apology that I wrote to him. A letter I intended to give to his spirit, but I was able to give it to him in person now. He read my apology, saw the tears in my eyes, and hugged me to him. He told me it was ok. That he had forgiven me long ago. He told me that I was just dwelling on it, and that I needed to let it go. I told him I had felt horrid because of how I had treated him and Serpy, how I had screwed up, and how when he had died I had been devestated, being unable to tell him myself. He told me to just let it go. He said again that he had forgiven me long ago, and that it was ok. I needed to forgive myself. I cried in his arms until I couldn't cry anymore.

I spent the rest of the dream telling him of my life, telling him what had happened since I had seen him. I told him of my future plans. I told him that I was now with Chance, and he was happy for us. I told him everything that was going on, and it was just like he was really there with me. It was like having my best friend back.

I don't know when the dream faded, or when I woke up, but I know the feeling of self loathing and hatred in my heart is gone. I still miss him, but I feel like it was his way of coming to me and letting me know that it was ok, that I can forgive myself and move on. I don't know how long it will take me to fully forgive myself, but I know in my heart that he forgave me, and he loved me as a good friend, and that I should remember that, and hold on to it tightly, and live on, remembering the good, instead of mourning the bad.

I miss you Vex, and probably always will. Thank you for coming to me and giving me some peace. Thank you my friend.